Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Watch out.

Here it comes. I feel a pretty major rant coming on, and it might get ugly.

I'm tired. Sick and tired, of people. It doesn't feel like a very Christ-like place to be, but it's exactly where I'm at right now.

This morning when I was dropping Caleb off at school, a woman honked and SCREAMED at me and almost hit my car with hers because, apparently, I must have parked in a spot where I wasn't supposed to be. The funny thing is, probably 3 days out of every week so far, this same woman has pulled into the school right behind me to do the very same thing in the very same spot - we stop. The kid(s) get out of the car. We go. It takes all of 30 seconds, seriously. But, for some reason, today she felt that she needed to come unhinged - at me. Maybe her panties were in a wad. I don't know, but there was no reason to be rude.

This incident wasn't the beginning of the "funk" that I'm feeling, though. A few weeks ago, the pastor at our church delivered a pretty compelling message about being discontent with God. The premise was that it is good and even healthy to want more from God. You really aren't discontent with God, who He is, or what He's done in your life, you're just wanting MORE of Him. Since He's made Himself completely available to us, it really has more to do with us focusing less on ourselves and more and more on Him.

Discontent with God. It's a pretty fascinating idea. Lately, though, I've really been experiencing some serious discontent with God's people.

Zach and I were talking about it the other day and we both felt the same thing. It's as if we're in (or entering into) an era that we just don't want to be a part. Everyone is too busy. Too consumed with their lives and themselves to even notice what they're missing - true fellowship and intimacy with others. There's a whole "army of one" and "looking out for number one" mentality that is taking over - for the worse.

People used to BE together. It's making me feel old, but I'm already spending more and more time pining for the way things were "when I was young". Everything has changed so much, just in the last 20 years, that it frightens me to think of what things might look like in another 20. For instance, when I was a kid, not celebrating Halloween really wasn't a big deal because there was such an amazing harvest party at church - Hallelujah Night! There was a different theme every year, all the families in the church were involved, the kids dressed up in homemade costumes that they'd put lots of thought and time into, there was a costume contest, cake walks, etc. It was SO much fun!

Now, it should be time for my sons to get to experience the same thing, but they can't. The children's ministers at church have continued to plan the event each year, but fewer and fewer kids come each year. The few kids that would come would wear whatever store-bought costume they wanted to, regardless of the theme. A cake walk? It wouldn't even be worth organizing, because I bet half of the people would bring whatever they could find at Smiths on their way to the church. It's gotten to the point that the church can't even have this celebration any more, because there's just no involvement. Where is everyone? What's happened?

It's not just this harvest celebration. We used to spend New Years Eve together. We would have a huge chili cook-off, play games together and spend the holiday together. Every summer, we used to haul the whole church to a picnic spot in the woods and have a huge cookout and spend the day together. We used to have amazing end-of-the-year parties with all the school kids and their families. It was fun.

You're probably thinking that it sounds like a ton of work and that we've just gotten smarter by simplifying. Smarter? No. Less connected? Yes. The truth is, if everyone was involved and took part, it'd be a breeze to do things together. But, like I said, everyone is so completely consumed with themselves and what they have going that no one can or will be a part. The only time people are willing to do things is when it fits neatly and conveniently into their schedules.

It stinks. It's wrong. It's not what we were created for. We were made to fellowship. In this age of on-my-terms communication and get-togethers, we just aren't connecting. It makes me sad. It makes me angry that my boys are missing out. They don't even realize it - that there's this entirely other family that they're supposed to have, but don't. We have been called to be the BODY of Christ, but that's awfully hard to do when you can barely manage to get people in the same place at the same time.

Anyways. I'm frustrated. Thanks for letting me vent....


Sid said...

I feel you. Lately the world is heavy.Some events(more than one) have happened recently and, I don't know,it's like the spark is gone. I used to be on fire. I used to have a fight. Your husband IM-ed me today and asked me if I was walking away from God. Of course my answer is no. But I'm finding it hard to wake up. It's like I'm breathing through water. It is actual physical heaviness. It's like I'm broken. My tolerance for any, including brothers and sisters in Christ, is short, my sense of humor is forced, and my conversations are superficial. I don't know if it's spiritual or even universal. It seems as though the body(world wide) needs....God. Anyone else feel this?

Sarah Taylor said...

Heavy is the exact word. That's what I tell Zach when I feel like this - I'm just WEARY. We DO need God and not just the one we (sometimes) encounter on Sunday mornings. We need to wake up and drink deep, otherwise I feel that we are just going to keep trudging blindly and unknowingly into more and more ick, for lack of a better word - because that's what it feels like - ICK.

I had no idea that you were feeling this way, but I'm glad you shared. That way we can get after you and harass you incessantly until you once again feel like the good 'ol Sid that we all know and love.

Hello Im.... said...

I totally agree. Our society has its sort comings. But children always tend to remember good things, so even if they are "missing out" on something they'll remember something else just as wonderful. (By the way, I love your blog.)

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