Need vs. Want

Need and want. On paper it looks so black and white. Need is on one end of the spectrum and want is on the other. Or, at least, it should be. Why is everything so blurry, so fuzzy and gray? Why am I struggling to pay for things that aren't even necessary, things I think I need, when others are struggling to survive? Why do I have to go to the grocery store twice a week, when we could easily eat off the food in our pantry and freezer for a month? Why do I feel I need a new dress, since it's on clearance for $3, when I've already got 10 others hanging in my closet? And why does $3 feel so trivial to me, when it could make such a huge difference to others?

Why is my want for things winning over my want for people? Lord, please change my heart. It wants to know your ways. It wants to do your will, but obviously not bad enough...or it would be. It would sacrifice without pause.

Why? It's my heart's cry. Why? And how? My heart is longing for something bigger, something better. Something more significant.

There's my boy...

Here's the picture I wanted to load the other day, but couldn't. It was worth waiting for, right? Look at that confidence, that body language, that belly... It does a Momma good.

A Happy Birthday Baby!

The boys (all three...Zach, Caleb and Owen) were finally healthy enough this weekend that we could celebrate Owen's first birthday. Only a week and a half late. Oh well. He doesn't really know the difference, I suppose. Since he's so impossible to resist, he's already had ice cream several times throughout the last year. Cake, though, is a different story. We held out so that his first cake would come on his birthday. And let me tell you, the boy's reaction definitely didn't disappoint. He shoveled fistful after fistful into his mouth. If his mouth was already full, he settled for smearing it as near his mouth as possible. He, in true "dozer" (his nickname) style, just couldn't and wouldn't slow down.

I just discovered that the naked-baby-covered-in-chocolate-cake pictures are on someone else's memory card. So, unfortunately, for now you'll have to settle with the video of his birthday song serenade and his first lurches toward the cake. I'll get those pictures up ASAP. In the mean time, here's a picture of him doing his favorite new passtime...emptying Mommy's kitchen cupboards. Ah, what a busy baby! Okay. Nevermind. That one will have to wait, too. For some reason it's just not loading. Aagh! Technology. I've had enough...I'm going to bed!