The Finer Things

Best. Day. Ever.

2011-04-16T20:46:00.004-05:00

Okay. Maybe not ever, but still. Today was one for the remembering.

I'm sure that a huge contributing factor to today's greatness is the simple fact that tax season is so close to being over that I can seriously feel the weight lifting from my shoulders. No more staying up until the wee hours of the morning trying to figure out how the heck to get the new tax software to do what I want it to do. No more watching my hubby go to bed by himself. No more telling the boys, "No. We can't today. Mommy has to work." Aagh... It's almost over, and it feels GREAT!

I did go to work for a few hours today, but it was just to pitch in and help in the office's last-ditch-effort of preparing extensions. BUT, before that I lazed in bed with my hubby. I took a long, relaxing shower. I actually did my hair and makeup, rather than wadding my hair up into a ponytail and re-touching the "yesterday's makeup is good enough" look that I've been sporting for the last two months. (It has NOT been pretty.) I gave myself a manicure AND pedicure. I played with my little guys.

While I was at work, Zach surprised me by washing my car for me. It needed it desperately and now it looks so pretty! After work, I went to Caleb's soccer game. The weather was beautiful and it was so nice to spend an hour outside in the fresh air and sunshine. (They got slaughtered by the other team, whose star player handled the ball like a teenager, but Caleb played really well so it was still fun to watch and cheer.) Then, Nathan and I went to Sunflower Market where I got to take my time and leisurely peruse the aisles and purchase groceries for legitimate meals that I will actually get to cook in the upcoming week...falafel and taboule, chicken sausage and kale, spring rolls, salads, chicken curry with coconut rice... Aaaghhh! Zach and I have both gotten so tired of eating sandwiches and carryout that we were almost ready to give up eating altogether. (Almost.)

After I got home, I made spring rolls with Zach. After a few years of random attempts at finding a good recipe, I think I finally came up with a winner...all on my own! I took a picture of Owen, while he snuck an almost-empty carton of ice cream off the kitchen counter and drank the soupy remains. I snuggled with Caleb while he read a book to me that he wrote and illustrated all by himself. The boys are all fed and cleaned. The big two went to bed without a hitch - that's a BIG deal! I took some extra time to cuddle with Nathan before I put him to bed - although our time what still cut short when I heard Owen yelling, "MOM!!! Can you come wipe my butt?"

Now I'm about to have spring rolls and sushi with my hubby while we watch Tron and snuggle on the couch. I'm going to wash it down with a new beer that Zach thinks I'll really like - hopefully ending my quest of finding a beer that is a happy medium between syrupy sweet girly beer and icky after-taste REAL beer. I have high hopes. Then, I'm going to go to bed at a decent hour, well before the ridiculously late night/early morning bedtimes that I've been maintaining for the last few months.

It's been GLORIOUS! What an incredible, wonderful day to be alive!

Occupation: Homemaker

2011-03-12T09:46:00.005-06:00

Tax season is in full swing and I'm up to my eyeballs in work, so I really shouldn't be posting. I just don't have time. Our house is a wreck and there is way too much laundry waiting to be done. If I am going to steal a few minutes away from the piles of files it really should be to do something other than post, but oh well. I had this thought yesterday (while preparing returns) that started simmering and I just have to get it out of my system.

You may or may not have noticed, but on the second page of Form 1040 that practically everyone has to file every year, there's a line next to where you sign that is designated for your occupation. So far this year, I've prepared returns for 100+ people and the occupations have ranged anywhere from Physician to Automotive Technician and from Teacher to Chief Operating Officer. They run the gamut. But, out of all those returns there have only been about two people who have chosen to list Homemaker as their occupation. Out of that entire handful of people, do I really think that only two were Homemakers? No way. Why? Because I'm technically a Homemaker, too. But is that what I list on my tax return? No way. After all, I have a college degree. I prepare taxes, do bookkeeping, stage houses for real estate professionals, attend births as a certified doula, etc, etc. I truly am a Jill of All Trades. (And probably a master of none, as well, but we won't go there.) The actual amount of time I spend doing all of those things as compared to the amount of time I spend doing at-home-mom things, though, is not even close to equal. The bulk of my time is spent shuttling our boys, shopping for groceries, chasing our boys, preparing meals, cleaning up after meals, entertaining our boys, picking up the house, picking up the house (it was no mistake that was listed twice), doing laundry, etc, etc. So, why does my tax return say Accountant beside my name? Because Homemaker feels insignificant. It feels unaccomplished and ordinary. Anyone could be a Homemaker. When I picture a Homemaker, it's someone like June Cleaver - whose be all and end all in life is to maintain a spotless house day in and day out, have dinner on the table at 5:30 on the dot and do it all while wearing a dress, heels and lipstick. That's just not me. It's not what fulfills me.

But then, yesterday, I realized there's a difference. According to Webster, a house is a building, a residence, a place of shelter. The kinds of things that I associated with being a Homemaker have more to do with keeping-a-house. Being a Housekeeper. That is something I most definitely don't want to do.

But a home? That's different. A home is the place in which one's domestic affections are centered. A dwelling place or retreat. To me, that difference is significant. It's a big deal. And, here's the key - NOT EVERY HOUSE IS A HOME.

If I can be the driving force responsible for creating a haven and refuge for the ones I love most in this world, then there's nothing I want more. So, I think I'm going to change my return. This year, it'll read Sarah Taylor: Homemaker. (And proud of it!)

My One And Only

2011-02-14T14:33:00.005-06:00

I was reading a blog earlier today that included an interview with a woman who had married her high school sweetheart. (I did, too.) They met as teens, dated through college and married as young adults. (I did, too.)

One of the questions posed to this woman was whether or not she felt that she had missed out on any "fundamental and valuable life experiences" by not dating lots of people.

Zach is actually the only one I ever dated, ever kissed, etc. Did I miss out?

No!

I may have only experienced the first-kiss insanity once and the getting-to-know you butterflies once, but who cares?!? I have enjoyed the pleasure of something very few others will ever get to experience - the incredible freedom and joy that comes from being WITH and FOR only one person, ever. And that, my friends, is far better than any first kiss.

I love you, Sweet Husband, and I'm so glad to be yours.

A Long Time In Coming

2011-01-26T12:52:00.006-06:00

Dear Blog,

Yipes! It feels as if I've been away for a week or two, but here it is already more than two months since I last stopped by to chat! What can I say? I've been busy. I've been lazy. I've neglected you and I'm sorry. I'd like to be able to honestly say that the neglect won't happen again, but it probably will, so I won't make any promises I can't keep. I'll just do the best I can to keep you updated more frequently. So much time has passed since our last visit, I hardly know where to begin.

I got a new car! We traded my very tired Jeep in for a Yukon. It's the newest, nicest car I've ever had and I love it, especially the heated seats! It's pretty, runs well and the boys have more space, so I don't have to hear any more complaints of "So-and-so is breathing my air!" It's fabulous.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving. Actually, TWO lovely Thanksgivings. The first was truly a first - on Thanksgiving day we hosted, for the first time, at our house. We had Zach's parents, his granddad and my brother over to join us and it was wonderful! Good food (albeit an hour late since the darn turkey decided not to cook as quickly as it was supposed to) and great company - an all around success! The second was at my parents' house with my family and, again, SO nice. I think Thanksgiving is quickly becoming my favorite holiday - quality time with my family and so much yummy food, two of my favorite things in the whole wide world!

In mid-December, Zach got to go to DC for a week to attend a ceremony during which the company he works for received an award. A week in DC on someone else's dime! Woo hoo! He walked about 40 miles while he was there, took hundreds of photos, saw amazing sites and had a great time! I was SO tempted to stuff myself into his suitcase, but that's an awfully long flight to be confined to the shape and size of a Samsonite. Maybe next time.

Christmas came and went with the usual blur of activity. This one was a little more memorable than most, since it was Nathan's first. He had a great time pulling on bows and trying to eat tissue paper. It was truly a blessed and joyous occasion for us all!

Zach's parents had us over for a fondue party to ring in the new year. It was fabulous! (And Owen loved it, too. I've never seen the kid eat so much!) It really was a great evening with lots of fun company. And the food? Oh, SO yummy! I ate so much that the fondue binge was just one of the many contributing factors to...

...trying the Carb Nite diet with Zach. We're in our third week and we're going strong! We've actually been eating really good food and we get to go on a carb blow-out once a week, so we're not minding too much. The extra holiday pounds are slowly but surely coming off. So far so good!

That's definitely not everything, but a good gist of our goings-on for the last little while. As usual, I've got other things that I should be doing (folding laundry, doing dishes...ugh!), so I had better hop to it. I hope to talk to you again sooner, rather than later.

Lots of love,

Sarah

PS - While re-reading and editing, I couldn't help but notice how many times I mentioned food (and/or my love of food) in this brief, little note. Yikes! It's almost embarrassing. But, anywho. In keeping with the theme and giving you something to think about, here's a bit of FOOD FOR THOUGHT (Ha! That was on purpose. I just can't help myself sometimes!):

Luciano Pavarotti once said, "One of the very nicest things about life

is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing

and devote our attention to eating."

I do agree; it is one of the nicest things in life. But, what else do you (and I) take time for regularly and purposefully to do each day? What does it say about ourselves and the lives we lead? Does the time you spend say what you want it to say about who you are and what is important to you? Chew on that.

An Image of Longing

2010-11-17T09:49:00.004-06:00

Mankind has an innate need to be needed. We want to be wanted. We were created in the image of our Father - so where did that longing originate? In Him. He needs to be needed and, therefore, so do we.

Wouldn't it have been infinitely less painful for everyone involved if He had just created us to adore Him, without the knowledge of there being any other options? Yes. Definitely. But is that real fellowship? Is it satisfying and does it really fill deep needs for companionship? Not really.

Fellowship is all about communion - sharing thoughts and emotions, having intimate communication. It's not something that can be done alone and it's not something that can be one-sided. It can't be forced. It involves making a choice to share yourself and give of yourself freely. What do you get in return? It depends. God made Himself vulnerable with the hope that we would choose Him. But, what if we don't? Rejection. Pain. More longing and emptiness, left to be filled.

Why in the world would He ever do that to Himself? It just doesn't make sense. He had the ability to guarantee His acceptance, and He didn't. Why? Because there's nothing better or more satisfying than the feeling of being needed. Of being wanted. Of being chosen.

Once I started considering God's feelings on a more personal and human plane, it has made me wonder how my actions have affected Him. Do my actions affect Him? Most definitely. Have I chosen Him? Absolutely. Is that enough to satiate His desire? Not even close. Is it possible to choose Him and not know Him? Yes. Being chosen is paramount, but it isn't enough.

If decisions aren't backed by action, then are they legitimate? Are they real? Possibly, but those decisions lose their power without support. To pay homage to a Christian pop song of my youth, they're like "a screen door on a submarine". They are there and they fill a void, but they aren't necessarily effective. What's more important to God? Knowing that I've made THE BIG DECISION to choose Him or my actions that show Him on a day-to-day and minute-by-minute basis what is most important in my life?

If I decide to be a Vegetarian but my actions don't consistently support my declaration of Who I Am, then am I really a Vegetarian? I imagine you see my point. In the end, I don't doubt who I am or the decisions I have made. I just wonder how much longing my actions have left my Father with. Have I satiated His desire? I'm sure I haven't. I haven't even come close. Being left wanting isn't fun. It hurts. It feels like rejection and that's not what I want my Abba, who poured out His life for me, to experience. Not on my account.

A heartening response!

2010-10-22T10:52:00.003-05:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Sarah, Chris, Mary, Sid... Thank you guys all SO much for the encouraging response and for letting me know that I'm not alone in my "funk". Or, actually, on second thought I really don't think we're in a funk. I think we're just AWARE of the funk that's going on - and wanting to do something about it! I'm glad to be in such good company!

So...as an attempt to DO something about it, wanna come over and play? It's officially too cold to do anything outside and that's fine by me. I'd rather cuddle up to a bowl of something warm and break out the board games! It's last minute, but everyone is MORE than welcome to come over to our house tomorrow evening to hang out and have some food, fun and FELLOWSHIP! I'll make a huge pot of potato soup and some homemade bread. (Not very carb friendly. I know. I'm sorry.) If you want to bring something then do, but if not then don't! If you want to bring a favorite game, then please do! If the gas for an extra trip into ABQ is a concern, then please don't be shy - say so and come anyways! I would rather scrape together the $5 for you to get here and have your company than to go without. So, please come!

From 5ish until whenever? Sound good? (It sounds great to me!)

Lots and lots of love,

Sarah

Watch out.

2010-10-20T11:12:00.007-05:00

Here it comes. I feel a pretty major rant coming on, and it might get ugly.

I'm tired. Sick and tired, of people. It doesn't feel like a very Christ-like place to be, but it's exactly where I'm at right now.

This morning when I was dropping Caleb off at school, a woman honked and SCREAMED at me and almost hit my car with hers because, apparently, I must have parked in a spot where I wasn't supposed to be. The funny thing is, probably 3 days out of every week so far, this same woman has pulled into the school right behind me to do the very same thing in the very same spot - we stop. The kid(s) get out of the car. We go. It takes all of 30 seconds, seriously. But, for some reason, today she felt that she needed to come unhinged - at me. Maybe her panties were in a wad. I don't know, but there was no reason to be rude.

This incident wasn't the beginning of the "funk" that I'm feeling, though. A few weeks ago, the pastor at our church delivered a pretty compelling message about being discontent with God. The premise was that it is good and even healthy to want more from God. You really aren't discontent with God, who He is, or what He's done in your life, you're just wanting MORE of Him. Since He's made Himself completely available to us, it really has more to do with us focusing less on ourselves and more and more on Him.

Discontent with God. It's a pretty fascinating idea. Lately, though, I've really been experiencing some serious discontent with God's people.

Zach and I were talking about it the other day and we both felt the same thing. It's as if we're in (or entering into) an era that we just don't want to be a part. Everyone is too busy. Too consumed with their lives and themselves to even notice what they're missing - true fellowship and intimacy with others. There's a whole "army of one" and "looking out for number one" mentality that is taking over - for the worse.

People used to BE together. It's making me feel old, but I'm already spending more and more time pining for the way things were "when I was young". Everything has changed so much, just in the last 20 years, that it frightens me to think of what things might look like in another 20. For instance, when I was a kid, not celebrating Halloween really wasn't a big deal because there was such an amazing harvest party at church - Hallelujah Night! There was a different theme every year, all the families in the church were involved, the kids dressed up in homemade costumes that they'd put lots of thought and time into, there was a costume contest, cake walks, etc. It was SO much fun!

Now, it should be time for my sons to get to experience the same thing, but they can't. The children's ministers at church have continued to plan the event each year, but fewer and fewer kids come each year. The few kids that would come would wear whatever store-bought costume they wanted to, regardless of the theme. A cake walk? It wouldn't even be worth organizing, because I bet half of the people would bring whatever they could find at Smiths on their way to the church. It's gotten to the point that the church can't even have this celebration any more, because there's just no involvement. Where is everyone? What's happened?

It's not just this harvest celebration. We used to spend New Years Eve together. We would have a huge chili cook-off, play games together and spend the holiday together. Every summer, we used to haul the whole church to a picnic spot in the woods and have a huge cookout and spend the day together. We used to have amazing end-of-the-year parties with all the school kids and their families. It was fun.

You're probably thinking that it sounds like a ton of work and that we've just gotten smarter by simplifying. Smarter? No. Less connected? Yes. The truth is, if everyone was involved and took part, it'd be a breeze to do things together. But, like I said, everyone is so completely consumed with themselves and what they have going that no one can or will be a part. The only time people are willing to do things is when it fits neatly and conveniently into their schedules.

It stinks. It's wrong. It's not what we were created for. We were made to fellowship. In this age of on-my-terms communication and get-togethers, we just aren't connecting. It makes me sad. It makes me angry that my boys are missing out. They don't even realize it - that there's this entirely other family that they're supposed to have, but don't. We have been called to be the BODY of Christ, but that's awfully hard to do when you can barely manage to get people in the same place at the same time.

Anyways. I'm frustrated. Thanks for letting me vent....

Can you feel it?

2010-08-26T09:15:00.003-05:00

Did you feel the change? Did you?!?

I know the official first day of fall, according to the calendar, is still several weeks away. But, according to my expert opinion, the first day was earlier this week - on Tuesday.

Several years ago, I became aware of the shift in the weather that occurs as summer releases its hold and fall is allowed to creep in - and I've been able to observe it every year since. The wind blows the strongest during the spring, but it blows a little in the fall, as well. We were enjoying hot, still summer days until Tuesday. Out of the blue, it was crazy windy. Did you notice? And now, if you are still, you can feel that there's a decided change in the air. It's crisp. There's a sharpness that wasn't there before. You can especially feel it in the mornings and evenings, when the heat of the day is not quite so intense.

Aagh...fall! It's my favorite time of year. I'm praying this year it'll be a few weeks longer than normal, because it's always over far too soon.

Fae...do you think Starbucks would go ahead and make a few pumpkin spice lattes for us just a few weeks early, or will we have to wait?

SARAH - Big & Brave

2010-08-23T11:50:00.009-05:00

Our usual Sunday morning routine goes something like this:

1) Roll out of bed as late as possible - which means about 6:45, since Owen isn't allowed out of bed until 7:00.

2) Get the boys fed, dressed and ready to leave for church.

3) Get Zach fed, dressed and ready to leave for church.

4) I throw clothes on and toss everything else I need in a bag so I can put myself together at my parents' house.

5) Drop Zach off at church so he can do music practice until it's time for services to begin.

6) While Zach is busy with that, the boys and I go to my parents' house to hang out/get ready/etc until it's time to go back to church.

Since I'm the mom and the driver, I get to choose the route the boys and I take from Edgewood to Moriarty. During the summer, I insist on Dinkle Road. Once you pass the squatty trailers and other small-town stuff, you get to the most amazing farmland. I don't know what it is, but the sight of all those sunflowers, wild grasses and tasseled corn fields sets my heart to swooning. It's beautiful! Takes me back to childhood days of exploring country roads with my brother and sister on our bicycles. We pretended to be the Dukes of Hazard--I was Daisy.

Anyways.

On our way back to church yesterday, I spotted a snake sunning itself on the other side of the road. Since we had plenty of time before church was going to start (and because I figured the boys would think it was cool), I decided we should turn around to check and see if it was a rattler. I told the boys that if it was a bull snake, we were going to leave it alone, but that if it was a rattler we'd run over it. It was a big, 'ol rattler. Darn it.

As a side note, you should probably know that I have a fairly big problem with dead things. They creep me out. Coming across a dead bird in the yard, attending a funeral, it really doesn't matter. It makes me uncomfortable - I really don't like dead things.

Being the ferocious, protective Momma Bear that I am, though, I've often thought about situations in which I'd have to kill a snake in order to keep my boys safe. I know my mom has had to do it, with a shovel, no less. She's one tough lady, but surely I could do the same. So, I felt pretty fortunate that my first run-in with a snake was going down with me behind the wheels of nearly two tons of steel.

Ha! Succumb to my rubber, vile creature!

I backed up the car, took a deep breath, and hit the gas. I was TOTALLY unprepared for actually feeling and hearing the THUMP THUMP of the tires going over the snake. Ugh! (Shudder!) The little fuzzy hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention and, when I checked my side-view mirror and saw it flip, flop and flail its way off into the grass, a huge chill ran down my spine. I forgot about that part. Ick. Did I mention that dead things bother me? Well, dead things that can still move bother me even more.

My smarty-pants Caleb insisted that since it moved off into the grass it wasn't dead.

Caleb: "Mom missed it."

Mom: "No, Caleb, we most certainly did hit it - didn't you feel the THUMP THUMP?"

I had to explain to him how some things can still move a little, even after they're dead. I think he was equally as grossed out, because he didn't accost me with his usual barrage of follow-up questions.

Anyways.

The experience probably could have been trivial, but not for me. I was super-brave driving my big, 'ol car over that yucky snake. Since it unnerved me so, I'm not feeling quite so capable if I ever have to face one without 2 feet of ground clearance and an entire SUV between us. I think I may change my strategy. No more daydreams of shovel-wielding grandeur for me. No way, Jose. I think the boys and I will just run and hide. From here on out, taking care of snakes is most definitely a daddy job.

(Thank God for daddies!)

"Nesting" with my BFF

2010-07-17T10:01:00.003-05:00

Ever the enterprising entrepreneurs, Faerl and I are once again up to either no good or lots of good, depending on your outlook. Either way, we're having tons of fun! Faerl found a fun shop in town that is, basically, an indoor flea market. We've often dreamed of having a home decor, re-sale type shop of our own. She saw this market as a very fortuitous way for us to dip our toes into the world of shop ownership without actually taking on all of the major overhead expenses and things that complicate business. So, we've rented a 10x10 foot space, we're calling it nest and we're going to stock it on August 2nd! As usual, our vision and aspirations are far above and beyond the Average Joe's, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Hopefully, it will result in making a great and lasting impression with customers! We've been scouring garage sales, digging through bins (haven't quite resorted to dumpster diving yet, but if there's something cute down there, I can't guarantee it won't happen), shopping clearance racks, re-finishing, re-furbishing and having a great time - all in the name of building up our inventory! Our basket has, indeed, been blessed thus far and we're really praying that God will bless the fruit of our labor.

Yesterday was the first chance we've had to really set everything out in one spot to look it over and start sorting things out. My den was a disaster, but all of our things felt so cohesive, wonderful and cozy! I have a feeling this nest will be quite comfortable! We couldn't resist taking some pictures...

PS - I love you, Fae Mae! You're such an amazing friend! Thank you for being such an ever present source of strength and encouragement.

Moo?

2010-06-11T08:41:00.004-05:00

Through trial and error, I've come to be about 90% sure that Nathan has a sensitivity to the protein in dairy products. He's got lots of the symptoms - congestion, stuffiness, constipation, gas... Poor baby! The only way to remedy these complaints is to remove all the dairy from my system. It's a surprisingly long process before he'll see the benefits (close to three weeks), but if it helps him feel better then it'll definitely be worth the effort.

But, I have one question. How in the world do you not eat any dairy? I've been on the equivalent of a see-food diet pretty much all my life: If I see it and I want it, I eat it! Besides the fact that cheese, yogurt, milk, ice cream (etc) all fall fairly high on the list of my favorites, it seems like there's dairy in just about everything!

So, seriously, how do I do this? I'm perusing the internet for ideas, but if you have any words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate your help!

Nathan's little insides thank you...

On the Run

2010-06-09T09:33:00.003-05:00

Yippie! I'm running again! Well, maybe not this week. Besides the fact that Zach is out of town and therefore it's impossible to get out of the house sans boys, it's been 100(ish) degrees all week long. Ugh! Yes, I run, but only in fair weather. Anyways. I've been able to sneak out about 3 times so far (post baby) and I've done pretty well. It's been encouraging. My goal is to run the 5k at the Duke City Marathon in October. I know I'll be able to do it. I doubt I'll do it quickly, but whatever. Who ever said that running had to be done quickly?

Besides the heat, there have only been two real obstacles, thus far, to my running this summer:

1) SMALL EARS. That's right. If you've never noticed, it's probably because they're so small that you missed them entirely. How does this inhibit running? Well, they definitely don't catch drag, so that's a plus! But, I have a darn hard time keeping my ear buds in when I run. They're all too big. I thought I figured out a solution when I decided I'd just buy a set of kid sized ear buds. But, they don't make ear buds for kids! Darn it. (I guess it really would be a bad idea to encourage kids to shove things in their ears. More on that subject, here.) But, I did finally find a set of buds that comes with an extra small pair. It works! I still have to jam them in, which isn't super comfortable, but such is the price you pay for being born with teeny ears, I guess.

2) TIRED MUSIC. I can't run without music. It's just too stinkin' boring. I have a playlist of songs that I used all last summer (before I was pregnant) that helped push me onwards. But, I'm not sure if I can listen to any of those songs even once more. I've gotten to where I actually cringe when I hear them beginning to play. And some of them were good songs, too. I need some new music - bad! Does anyone have any good suggestions for some motivating music that'll help get me in the mood to pound some pavement? I'd really appreciate it!!!

Anna = Nurse

2010-05-06T13:03:00.004-05:00

nurse

As a noun...

1. a person formally educated and trained in the care of the sick or infirm.

2. any fostering agency or influence.

Yes, Anna is a nurse, but, at the same time, she's so much more. It's not just what she IS, it's what she DOES.

As a verb...

1. to tend or minister to in sickness, infirmity, etc.

2. to try to cure by taking care.

3. to look after carefully so as to promote development; foster; cherish.

But even yet, it's so much more. It goes farther, still. It's not even who she is or what she does. It's HOW she does it.

She tends to others, consistently and tirelessly putting them and their needs before her own.

She ministers to souls. Ushering them through life's most significant and memorable events - be they ones of immeasurable joy or profound sorrow.

She anticipates. She empathizes. She pours herself out. She prays.

I pray that you, Dear Anna, have at least some small idea of how far your touch of love, compassion and healing has reached. It is breathtaking.

I love you, Sister. Happy Nurses' Day!

Words (for a mom and dad) To Live By

2010-05-05T16:08:00.005-05:00

Last night, at Caleb's end-of-the-year music performance, his chapel teacher said something that really rang true:

"Raising kids
takes lots of
really long days
and just a few
very short years."

Not so easy to remember in the middle of all those long days, but it's true. It's passing in the blink of an eye...and I don't want it to. Just a reminder to cherish every moment...

Love is a Verb

2010-04-27T16:27:00.005-05:00

In the wee hours of last night, during a night-time feeding, while my arms cradled sweet Nathan, my brain was busy with the following thought:

Love is a verb.

Yes, I know it can also be a noun. But, love as a verb...now, that's something to think about. A verb typically expresses action, state, or relation between two things. Paramount, in my mind, is the fact that a verb requires action. When we think about God being love, we usually think of Him in the noun form. He, she, it...a noun. But, God's character and nature are revealed most clearly in His expression - in the action He took to pour love out (Himself out) upon and for His creation.

So, when we are commanded to "Love one another..." it suddenly isn't enough to 'be in a state of having loving feelings towards others'. I know that's typically my response, especially towards the not-so-lovely. Isn't it enough that I be polite and kind? After all, if I'm not acting out in hate, then doesn't that mean that, by default, I'm walking in love? I don't think so. We are commanded to LOVE. What does our response look like? Assuming our obedience to God's direction for our lives, if we were commanded to run, there would be a real, measurable response to that command. Is it the same with the command to love? Is our response quantifiable? Is it enough?

God's action of love looked like blood spilled out for people who couldn't have cared less. It looked like ultimate sacrifice. What does my love look like? Pretty pale, luke-warm and watered down in comparison to the example that God has set for us.

Blogging Blahs

2010-04-23T17:22:00.002-05:00

I'd apologize for my lack of posting, but...I'm not gonna. Yes, I've been busy, but not really any busier than any other time in life. Truth is, I just haven't felt like blogging.

Lately, Zach and I have both been marveling at (and lamenting) this phenomena that has slowly but surely developed over the last several years - a consuming absorption with "self". Texting, tweeting, facebook-ing, blogging... All means of sharing your information and your life, but without any real obligation to truly connect or to participate in any sort of meaningful dialog. Of course you can choose to connect, but it's still somewhat superficial and on your terms - only with the people you deem worthy and worthwhile. Where's the reaching out? Where's the relationship? Where's the "us" and the "we"?

Of course, I'm just as guilty as the next. I blog. I have a facebook page - although I really hate logging on and do it as in-frequently as possible. Why do I hate logging on? Because I don't want to chat. I want to talk to people when it's convenient for me, not when they catch me. Just another example of the all important "self". What am I going to do to change this truly yucky behavior that I find in myself? I'm not sure. But, something needs to be done.

What about you? What do you think?

We Are Living in a Technological World & I Am a Textile Girl

2010-02-13T10:11:00.003-06:00

(In case you missed it, the title is supposed to be sung to the tune of Madonna's Material Girl. So, go ahead...sing it!)

I just counted and I am heading into my 9th tax season (or busy season, as they/we refer to it in the biz). It makes me feel old. Although, when I think about it, it's really not that big a number. It's just that the preparation methods and procedures have changed so drastically since I started. I feel like an old dog and I don't want to learn any new tricks, thank-you-very-much. I wish technology would just leave the profession well enough alone and go pick on someone else. It makes me wonder how the guys that have been doing this 20, 30 and 40 years feel. Yikes.

I know my resistance to the change is because I'm a highly hands-on kind of girl. I like feeling the papers, sorting the papers, putting them in order, making my marks on them. But no more. Now it's all paperless. (Although, for the record, I think we use almost as much as before.) Scanned documents, pdf files, software that scans documents and puts the information in the return all by itself. The only problem is that it can't do it right and never will. There are always mistakes. So, rather than preparing taxes I'm babysitting a software package - just following it around and cleaning up its messes. How is that making things any more efficient or effective? Plus, it feels like all the processes take so much stinkin' longer than they used to that what we save in paper (or whatever) is eaten up just as quickly by what we lose in time. Maybe. Who knows. All I know is that it feels cumbersome. It feels disconnected and remote and I don't like it.

Bucket List, Revisited

2010-01-28T10:51:00.009-06:00

In March 2008, I started a list of things I'd like to accomplish, but I didn't give myself any sort of timeline. Here we are, two years later, and some of them are done, others are still in the cue. I figure it's time to review the list. Revise. Revamp. Revisit the list - see where I've been and have yet to go...

1. Finish my book on Christian childbirth and have it published. Not done yet. Not even close, to be honest. I have been able to hone in a little better on my specific objectives and how I'd like to get there. This one, though, is going to take some time. I'm hoping I can work on it more and more once the boys don't need quite so much of my attention.

~~2. Get my nose pierced.~~ Been there, done that! It was fun while it lasted, but it didn't last long. Through no fault of my own, it never quite healed right and Zach finally admitted that it got in the way anyways. Oh well. I guess there'll be no long-term nose ring for me. (That's okay!)

~~3. Have a daughter. (Or, if another amazing boy is in my future, be the darn coolest Auntie a little girl could ever have!)~~ Or, as it turns out, another son. I guess I'll have to start shifting gears into awesome-Auntie mode. In the mean time, it couldn't hurt to learn how to make farting noises with my underarms, how to whistle super loud (preferably w/o fingers in the mouth) and how to burp my ABC's. After all, these skills could come in pretty handy in my quest to become a super-cool-mom-to-three-boys.

~~4. Learn to really like eating broccoli. (I've already taught myself to like bananas and tomatoes!)~~ Broccoli is still nowhere near being classified as a favorite, but I think I'm close enough that I can call this one done. Besides, I'd better like it, because we're going to have to start having it several times a week, as it's one of the few veggies the boys will actually eat w/o major coaxing. What a weird veggie for them to choose, I think!

5. Become a licensed childbirth educator. This is most definitely going to stay on the list. As with other things, though, it's just going to have to wait until I have more time. Sigh...

6. Learn how to dance. I know my precious Hubby will be game for this, I just need to find a class and sign us up. It might be a challenge keeping up with him, though, that guy can really move! (And usually with significantly more grace and style than I can, darn it.)

7. Learn how to make all sorts of amazing ethnic (especially Asian and Indian) foods. I've definitely expanded my repertoire, but wouldn't call this done. But I can made a mean chicken curry! Mmm...

8. Travel. This one definitely isn't finished or even really started, for that matter. In the last two years, I think Zach and I have managed one camping trip and one weekend run to Durango. I don't think those are going to count. I'm a bit sad and embarrassed to admit that it's getting close to being a decade since I've even stepped foot on a plane. Sigh. When I say travel, I mean travel. Like get-a-passport, travel. That'll have to wait for sure. In the mean time, maybe a REAL vacation to some state other than one immediately neighboring? Sounds good to me!

~~9. Do something really brave...something that takes a lot of courage.~~ On our trip to Durango, I went mountain bike riding with Zach for the first (and so far only) time. Most people wouldn't call this adventurous or necessitating bravery. For me, though, it was HUGE. I was honestly petrified the entire time. I think that took some courage, thank-you-very-much.

10. Learn how to swim. (That's right, folks. I can float, but definitely not with any style or finesse.) Still undone. And, while I'm at it, I should probably add swimming lessons for the boys, too. Lord knows I don't want them to suffer the same water-phobic fate as their Momma!

~~11. Get into shape so that I can run more than one mile at a time.~~ Did it, but now that I'm pregnant I'll have to do it all over again. Last summer I could run several miles pretty comfortably. Not fast, mind you, but who cares? So, I think I'll up this goal to actually running in a 5k sometime. If I'm really ambitious maybe I could shoot for the Duke City in October 2010? After that, maybe I could try a half marathon some day? I think it'd be fun. We'll see...

~~12. Have my hair cut really, really short. (I've done really short before, but never SUPER short. I'm going to have to give it a try, or else I'll always wonder...)~~ Done! It grows so fast that it's longish again now, but I did it! Practically a buzz cut! I definitely won't go there again, a bit too masculine for my taste. But I will always love a good, short 'do. There's something that feels SO amazing about lying your head down on your pillow at night and not having hair wrapped around your face. And the wash-'n-go aspect...who could ask for more?

Recap: 6 out of 12 done in almost two years? I have to admit I'm not super satisfied with a 50% rate of accomplishment. In other areas of life, this would definitely not be acceptable. All things considered, though, (having babies, raising kids, working a number of odd jobs) I think I'm okay with this. One of the best things I've found about getting older is becoming a bit more realistic in my expectations.

So, now that I've managed to cross a few things off, I'd like to add some new To Do's to my list. I'm going to have to think on it for a while. Any suggestions?

What am I doing?

2010-01-07T14:29:00.005-06:00

I always look forward to new things. New years, new adventures, new beginnings. A time to start fresh. This year I've felt a little funny about resolutions, though. I haven't made any, because it feels a bit pointless. The usuals just don't apply this year.

1. Lose weight. I've actually thought about this one. I could set a pretty lofty goal. Say 30 pounds. It's not like I have to lose it right NOW. As long as I accomplish it by the end of the year then I can consider it a success, right? So who cares if I drop about 20 of those pounds within the span of a few days!

2. Eat better. This one is always good and it definitely does apply, especially while pregnant. However, I think I'm just a little too much of a realist to take it seriously right now. I'm a crazy-busy mom of 2.6 kids (I figure 24 weeks out of 40 is about 60% or a kid, right?) and I'm fixing to start tax season. If I don't have time to do any better than a drive through burger, that's what it's going to be. Thankfully, Owen is living proof that beautiful babies can be grown despite the occasional (or not so occasional, if I'm really honest) corn dog.

3. Get more exercise. Considering the fact that lately it feels like my poor body has got it's work cut out for it just managing to not fall completely apart during this pregnancy, I really don't think I'm going to push it. I'm just going to start picturing dumbbells in my hands every time I heave Owen in and out of the car, the crib, etc. (Don't get me wrong, though, the second I can find my feet again and actually reach them well enough to get my running shoes tied, this girl's hitting the pavement!)

Just because I haven't been able to officially "resolve" to do anything new, though, that doesn't mean my behavior hasn't changed in the last week. I'm definitely going through a phase, but I haven't decided if it's nesting or purging. It's really too darn early to be doing the stereotypical "nesting" that mommies do while preparing for the arrival of a new baby. But, I'm really not fond of the word "purging". It makes me want to, well, purge. (Excuse me.)

So, as I continue to empty closets and reorganize drawers in the name of order and tidiness, I think I'll focus on the nesting part. After all, I just love a good nest!

nest –noun
1. a pocketlike, usually more or less circular structure of twigs, grass, mud, etc., formed by a bird, often high in a tree, as a place in which to lay and incubate its eggs and rear its young; any protected place used by a bird for these purposes.
2. a place used by insects, fishes, turtles, rabbits, etc., for depositing their eggs or young.
3. a number of birds, insects, animals, etc., inhabiting one such place.
4. a snug retreat or refuge; resting place; home.
5. an assemblage of things lying or set close together, as a series of boxes or trays, that fit within each other: a nest of tables.

Could you sleep?

2009-12-08T16:46:00.003-06:00

As is usual during the holiday season, our mailbox has been inundated with catalogs. I rarely bother to look, because I'd rather skip most of that aspect of the season. When Patagonia came, though, I couldn't help but flip through because theirs is usually pretty interesting.

This picture was my favorite:

I think Zach is crazy for enjoying rock climbing as much as he does. Pulled muscles, injured tendons, major blisters, stiff joints, callouses on top of callouses... Not my idea of fun, but he loves it. Thankfully, though, he was sane enough to agree that those guys are completely out of their minds!

Things I Love: Z

2009-11-27T20:10:00.001-06:00

1. Zach!

Things I Love: Y

2009-11-25T15:18:00.002-06:00

1. yarn - and almost anything made from yarn
2. yardwork - but only when the weather is nice...not too hot and not too cold! I'm definitely a fair-weather worker!

Introducing...

2009-11-25T15:03:00.004-06:00

...Taylor Baby #3! A boy! He's beautiful and healthy and we're so thankful! And, yes, now I'm officially the mother of three boys. Isn't there a special place in heaven for mothers of all boys??? Or, maybe it's just a padded room, which could be equally as appropriate!

Now that we know it's a boy, Zach and I can finally start thinking about names. We should probably do that sooner rather than later. Fig worked fine before, but now it seems a little silly. Baby #3 seems a little cold. Yep. I think we're going to need to pick a name, and fast!

And, being as how I had just introduced you to my two sonshines, now it's three! Thank God the domain was available. I wouldn't have wanted to start from scratch!

Things I Love: X

2009-11-24T15:01:00.000-06:00

1. ?

I'm sorry. I'm at a total loss. There may be something that starts with an x that I really do love and appreciate. However, at the moment I just can't think of one. I could desperately say x-treme something or xeric something, but I'm just not feeling it. So, I'm sorry, but today I think I'll have to pass...

Things I Love: W

2009-11-23T20:59:00.000-06:00

1. women - I'm thankful I am one and I'm thankful for all the incredible others I have in my life.
2. worship

Things I Love: V

2009-11-22T18:28:00.001-06:00

1. visual stimulation - but, I have to keep limits. For instance, NO Pottery Barn catalogs within about an hour of bedtime or I just can't sleep!

Things I Love: U

2009-11-21T08:16:00.000-06:00

1. unplugging

Things I Love: T

2009-11-20T20:23:00.004-06:00

1. traditions
2. time with Zach (when did things change so much so that now it's a luxury?)
3. thesauruses
4. tacos - Actually, Mexican food, in general. When I did "M", I missed it. When I did "L" I forgot Los Cuates (my favorite restaurant). Good grief! How did I miss listing something so incredible? Twice! I obviously wasn't thinking.

Things I Love: S

2009-11-19T21:22:00.000-06:00

1. snuggling
2. stretching

Where have all the good stories gone?

2009-11-18T16:42:00.003-06:00

For those (three or four) of you who read my blog regularly, you may have noticed a decided and probably disappointing lack in the ever-humorous Caleb and Owen material lately.

That's because I had a new project in the works. Like I need a new project, right? But, this one was extra important because I know, someday, it will have been well worth the effort.

So, without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to...

...My Two Son[s]shines! Happy reading!

Things I Love: R

2009-11-18T08:44:00.001-06:00

1. recipes
2. reading

Things I Love: Q

2009-11-17T21:43:00.000-06:00

1. quotes
2. quiet

Things I Love: P

2009-11-16T08:22:00.001-06:00

1. pastries
2. purpose
3. peaceful moments
4. pregnancy
5. popcorn

Things I Love: O

2009-11-15T20:20:00.000-06:00

1. opportunity
2. office (the office)
3. onion rings

Immeasurable Value

2009-11-14T15:34:00.003-06:00

Another interesting quote from a book I'm reading:

"Keep a clear eye toward life's end. Do not forget your purpose and destiny as God's Creature. What you are in His sight is what you are and nothing more. Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take nothing you have received...but only what you have given; a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage."

I think that's a great exhortation. The part that really struck me, though, was:

"What you are in His sight is what you are and nothing more."

Yes, there are people out there who believe that they are God's specific gift to mankind, for whatever reason. However, the much more common human response, I've found, is that we continually sell ourselves short of the value that He placed on us. Regardless of whatever specific and individual things He sees when He looks at each of us, He sees someone that's worth an immeasurable price.

Which leads me to another quote I really enjoy:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." -Marianne Williamson

It all just makes me wonder. Concerning our worth, if we really did let God be true and every man (ourselves) a liar, just what could we accomplish for His kingdom? I really think the sky is the limit.

Things I Love: N

2009-11-14T15:33:00.000-06:00

1. noodles
2. naps (esp. w/ Zach on Sunday afternoons)
3. novels

Things I Love: M

2009-11-13T14:29:00.000-06:00

1. music
2. motherhood
3. movies

Things I Love: L

2009-11-12T15:42:00.002-06:00

1. limes
2. lip gloss/chapstick - I'm really not sure whether I could survive without it

Things I Love: K

2009-11-11T20:44:00.000-06:00

1. kids - but I'm definitely partial to my own
2. kisses
3. kindred spirits - (rather, God-appointed relationships, but that doesn't start with a K!) it's such an incredible experience to be with someone and just know that you fit together!

Things I Love: J

2009-11-10T18:58:00.003-06:00

1. justice - thank God it's ultimately in His hands and not ours!
2. juice
3. jammies

Things I Love: I

2009-11-09T17:07:00.002-06:00

1. internet - so much information at my fingertips!
2. ice cream - Mmm...with a capital M.

Things I Love: H

2009-11-08T12:25:00.001-06:00

1. holidays
2. helping mommies (before and during birth)

Things I Love: G

2009-11-07T21:17:00.001-06:00

1. grace
2. grass - especially freshly mown
3. giggles - especially from my boys and especially when they turn into full-fledged belly laughs

Things I Love: F

2009-11-06T11:35:00.003-06:00

1. family and friends
2. fuzzy blankets
3. fragrance
4. forever21.com - who knew you could find so much fun, cheap jewelry in one spot!?!

Things I Love: E

2009-11-05T15:40:00.004-06:00

1. exotic travel destinations (islands, mountains, jungles, etc.) - I can't really say that I've ever been to any, but I can dream, right? (Some day, Zach, I promise!)
2. eating - I just can't deny it. The flavors, aromas, textures, colors... It's such a simple pleasure! (Thank you God, again, for good genes and a fast metabolism!)
3. exercise
4. early bedtimes - for the boys AND me!

Things I Love: D

2009-11-04T15:25:00.004-06:00

1. diphenhydramine (aka Benadryl) - it really can be a mom's best friend
2. dancing
3. decorating - one of my favorite things to do!
4. days spent outside

An idea!

2009-11-03T16:58:00.004-06:00

I'm sure that you all know me well enough to know that when I spoke of OCD in my last post, I in no way was poking fun or making light of what really can be a serious form of bondage. I actually did have some obsessive compulsive activities that I had to perform when I was little. Thank God I grew out of that! But, speaking of OCD, just to show you that I really do have those tendencies...

As soon as I published my last post, a list of three things I love, I almost had to revise the list. Why?

1. Lists
2. Libraries
3. Maple donuts

The first two things start with an L and the third one doesn't. I seriously almost had to change my list, just so that it'd be consistent. Yikes. Instead, I had a better idea. (Although this also reveals even more of my anal-retentive weirdness.)

I just noticed that Thanksgiving falls on the 26th of November this year. The 26th. Wait a minute! There are 26 letters in the alphabet. I could post a small list of things I'm thankful for each day and end with Z on Thanksgiving day!!! (Okay, I know it's really not that exciting, but humor me, please!) Maybe I'd seem a little more normal if you knew that there have been a lot of alphabet goings-on in our house lately. In pre-school, Caleb's class focuses on a new letter each week. Lots of tracing. Show and tell must start with the designated letter. Etc. Also, in lieu of other more bedtime appropriate songs, Owen keeps asking me to sing him the ABCs each time I put him to bed. The impressive part is that he's getting darn good at singing them on his own. He can get all the way from A to P with only a few slip ups and then he mumbles his way to a very proud Z. His favorite part, however, is still the "sing with me" that comes at the end. Aww...

So, anyways, being as how it's already the 3rd, I'll have to play catch up today, but no biggie! Here goes...

A:
1. amazon.com - They really make it too easy to buy books, and practically everything else under the sun.
2. adirondack chairs - sooo comfy!
3. afternoon sunbeams

B:
1. bubbles
2. boys - Zach, Caleb and Owen, in particular, but my daddy and brother are both extra special, too! I've definitely learned that these guys can frustrate me, make me fume and send me into a fit of tears faster than a bolt of lightning. But, I've also learned that far more often they make me laugh to the point of tears and they can also melt my heart with a single smile. I wouldn't have it any other way.
3. being a girl - just thinking about the aforementioned boys or any others, for that matter, makes me want to shout from the rooftops: "Thank God I'm a girl!!!"

C:
1. colored pencils - I know it's probably more cool to like crayons, but they just don't have the artistic flexibility for shading like colored pencils do. They've always been my weapon of choice, and I've definitely won a few coloring contests in my time!
2. craigslist.com - I'm trying to not be addicted, but I think I may be failing.
3. communion

By the way, an attitude of gratitude is, for most of us, something that has to be cultivated. It's sad, but true. So feel free to comment and leave your own lists of things you're thankful for! It makes for a merry heart and that's even better than medicine!

An Attitude of Gratitude

2009-11-03T16:04:00.005-06:00

'Tis the season to ponder thankfulness and, accordingly, that's what's been on my mind lately. And, in continuation of the theme of my last post, I'm becoming more and more aware that your attitude primarily depends on how you choose to look at and process the things around you.

It's that idea of choosing to see the glass-half-full. Choosing to see the world through rose-colored glasses.

Some might argue that it's a pretty naive and ignorant way to go about your business. However, I'm thinking it's more in line with doing the Father's business. After all, if you're feeling satisfied and joyful, are you not more likely to walk in love and to sow seeds of satisfaction and joy in the lives of everyone you meet?

This blog started as a way to recognize the things in my life that make it so amazing, so breathtaking. Once again, I've been surprised at just how little and seemingly trivial those things can be. I've been reading a fiction series that was recommended to me and, even though it's not quite as consuming as works by Picoult or other authors I enjoy, it is simple, uplifting and easy on the soul. What, really, could be better? One of the main characters is often asked to list things that she loves. Even though the things she lists are sometimes ordinary and mundane, the list is on the tip of her tongue. Her thankfulness is at-the-ready and she's not above finding it in the everyday. How perfect! What an example!

So, while going about my morning with Owen today, I decided I want to, from time to time, make similar lists. Here goes:

What do I love?

1. Lists! I'm sure it's something that appeals to my obsessive compulsive side, but I just can't deny it. There's something about the order and feel of a good list that just makes me happy! (One of my favorite comics shows a person explaining that they do not have OCD. They were adamant that the diagnosis was not correct. Instead, they insisted they had CDO, because OCD just didn't make sense - it was completely out of order. Ha!)

2. The library! Owen and I had a wonderful time at the library this morning. (I'm sure part of why it was wonderful was because he was well behaved the entire time, but still...) What's not to love about the library?

I let Owen be "a big boy" and walk the entire time. He compliantly held my hand every time it was necessary. First, we went to the adult fiction to get a book for me. While we were walking through the extra quiet section, he felt the need to say, "Darn it!", in his fairly loud voice. I'm not sure why he needed to say that, but he did. I reminded him with a whisper that we were supposed to use our library voices. In return, he whispered, "Oh. Darn it!" Ha!

They didn't have one of the books I wanted, but on our way to the kids' section, I saw it on an end cap. It wasn't a lending copy, but it was a used (practically new) copy that the library was selling - for $2! If it hadn't been on the end of the row, I never would have seen it. I only had a $10, but I actually found that I had over $2 in dimes, so Owen got the pleasure of dropping 20 coins into a little collection box. Fun for both of us!

There's lots of other reasons I love the library - free magazines, an almost unlimited supply of information that is free for the borrowing, it's quiet, it smells like books, it makes me want to study... I could go on. Oh. And another reason is because the boys get to practice their water fountain skills each time we go. Caleb almost has it down. He's finally understanding the push-the-button first and then approach-to-drink tactic. It's been quite some time since he's squirted himself in the face. You'd think it'd only take once to figure that out, but you'd be surprised... He's growing up! Owen, on the other hand, isn't quite strong enough to get the button pushed yet. His day is coming, though. His squirt-in-the-face day, that is. He always puts his face about an inch from the nozzle. What a fun thing to watch. Aagh... Isn't life grand?

3. Maple donuts. (No explanation needed.)

An invitation...

2009-10-27T15:05:00.004-05:00

...to think about things a little differently. Actually, I think this is more like an invitation to participate in an exercise to change the way our brains tend to work. I came across this quote the other day and it has definitely challenged me:

"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered."
- G. K. Chesterton

How prone I am to this way of thinking! A trap, really. Why is it that a deluge of rain on my first mountain biking adventure turned it into unforgettable fun while slow checkout lines or waylaid plans always throw me into a frenzy of frustration?

(Actually, that's probably a bad example. The deluge of rain made it impossible to ride. We were forced to walk/push our bikes through the sludge for the entire second half of the "ride". Of course I would enjoy walking a bike rather than riding it - the likelihood that I would go careening into a rock was considerably reduced! Of course that would be my preference! But, I'm sure you get my point.)

Anyways. Anyone up for starting an adventure club with me?

A Message for David J. Godec:

2009-10-23T11:09:00.003-05:00

PS - Notice how the sweat band shows up so clearly in the picture? Eewww. Now that's just nasty.

I Lost 5 Pounds Today.

2009-10-20T15:51:00.003-05:00

How in the world, you might ask, did I accomplish such a feat? (Especially while pregnant?)

I cleaned out my purse.

Yep. I'm embarrassed to say, but it really was that bad. A task that had become long overdue.

What got tossed?

2 Dum Dum suckers
a huge stack of receipts, already recorded and totally unnecessary
several old grocery lists
a fig newton (still in the wrapper, thank God) that was smashed beyond recognition
an empty tea tin that I don't want to get rid of - it's pink and it's the kind that pops open when you push on the center!
2 of my cocktail rings that must have gotten in the way so I pulled them off
a half-eaten granola bar, thank you Owen (still in it's wrapper, too - whew!)
an empty package of gum
Caleb's half-eaten package of animal crackers from Sunday School
my envelope of ultrasound pictures (Oh, beautiful fig!)
parts that broke off of Caleb's scooter - these have, honest to goodness, been riding around in there since mid-July. I had no intention of putting them back on. They're completely unnecessary parts, but apparently I felt they were important enough to lug them around on my shoulder for 3 months.
May's cat collar that's too big and keeps slipping off. Hey! I figure if it's in my purse at least it's not getting lost somewhere in the house where it'd be really hard to find!

Last and worst of all...

a really embarrassing amount of dry cat food that was rattling around in the bottom of every pocket - the result of a feed-the-cat-on-the-way-out-the-door disaster of cat food flying through the laundry room. Ugh.

Like I said, this was definitely overdue. Next, I guess, it's my car. I don't think I'll tell you what I find in there, though. I'm horrified to think of the discoveries that await me. All I will say, though, is that I'm sure the things I find in there (like the things in my purse) are mostly not my fault. Boys...ick.

The Prettiest Fig

2009-10-05T21:47:00.004-05:00

It is my immense pleasure to present to you one of the first pictures of Taylor Baby #3. Or, as she (we're speaking in faith) has lovingly been referred to lately, "Fig". According to the website I've been following during this pregnancy, that's about the size of a baby at 11 weeks...a fig. Only one and a half inches long, but oh-so-incredible already. It was breathtaking to watch on the screen as she squirmed and wriggled inside of me. Such huge movements for such a teeny body, and I don't yet feel a thing. So weird. It's only been about 9 weeks since conception and already her little body is almost completely formed. Her job now is to continue to mature and grow like crazy. She even has the beginnings of fingernails and tiny little teeth buds. It blows me away!

What an incredible gift, to be able to carry new life inside of you. To know that, in your belly, a new little life is growing, developing and being nurtured. Jesus, I thank You that Your hand has been on this little one from the very beginning and that You continue to watch over her, shelter her and protect her. Keep her safe as she grows and develops inside of me, and I thank You that for all of her days, she will be led and taught by You.

Operation: Snail Rescue

2009-09-09T16:38:00.008-05:00

Sorry for the blogging lull. I know it gets old checking for posts and finding...nothing. Life has been racing by at such a dizzying pace that it's making me feel a bit, well, slow, I guess. Like if I take the time to sit and blog for a few minutes, I'm sure to miss something. But, regardless, here goes...

Speaking of slow, I meant to blog about snails months ago and I completely forgot, until I unloaded the photos off my camera.

The night before my 30th Birthday, the boys spent the night with their Moma and Papa so that Zach and I could have a date. We had big plans for my birthday - a long hike, Vietnamese for lunch, some shopping, maybe a movie... Those plans were slightly altered, though, when we woke to find July 3rd a drizzly, soggy day. So, unfortunately, no hike, but we got ourselves together anyways and planned for a day out on the town, starting with coffee at a cool, little cafe Zach found down on Silver Street. Our day was further way-laid, though, when we went outside and found:

It may be hard to tell what those bumps all over our driveway are, but I'm sure you can guess - they're snails. The sog was forcing them out of the grass and up to higher, dryer ground and their mass exodus across the driveway was pretty impressive. I can't remember how many there were, exactly, but I do remember giving up counting when I got to 40. Needless to say, we couldn't just drive out, because we would have squished a ton of them. Thus began Operation: Snail Rescue. After relocating them all to the sidewalk, we were finally able to leave. We both got fairly soggy in the process, but it was fun!

And another quick snail story... A few weeks ago when the boys and I were heading out to do some errands, Caleb noticed a snail by the car that was covered in little black ants. I explained to him that it meant the snail had died. Being the super-compassionate kid that he is, he showed great remorse at the snail's misfortune.

The next day we were going out front so the boys could have some time riding bikes when Caleb found a healthy, crawling snail in the same place where the dead one had been. "Mom! Look! The snail is okay! Jesus healed the snail!!!" He was super excited. Trying to be the positive encourager, I remarked excitedly at how awesome it was that Jesus had healed the snail. Not two minutes later, I was completely distracted while walking across the drive and accidentally stepped right on the poor guy. That's right. I squished the miracle snail. If it's any recompense, I felt terrible about it all day, especially right after - when Caleb came and noticed the little pile of shell and goo. Believe me, having to tell your 5-year-old that you squished a miracle snail is no fun task.

Cheeky!

2009-08-15T21:08:00.003-05:00

Stretched

2009-07-17T04:18:00.007-05:00

This whole week, I've been completely overwhelmed. I am stretched. Thin. Just now, while searching for an image of a rubber band, I was thinking, "What happens when a rubber band is stretched?" The tension is eventually released, either because it flies away or because it breaks. I'd say that right now I'm just praying that I don't break, but that really sounds a bit dramatic. But, either way, I'm really just waiting for that release.

I'm not sure how it happens, but sometimes there's this phenomenal overload in which WAY more things land on your plate at once than you feel like you can handle. I definitely don't put myself in this situation on purpose, but sometimes it just happens. Life, I guess. Anyways, Zach and I were both feeling rather defeated and it caused me to really go through everything that's on my calendar/plate this month:

turning 30
refinancing our house
broken dryer
HUGE laundry backlog
a necessary trip to the MVD
a nightmare of a bookkeeping client
Quarterly Payroll Reports
Gross Receipts Tax Reports
selling an investment (finally!!!)
LOTS of battles to fight to get things done
hosting a new doula client for dinner
and, therefore, having to get my house cleaned
Caleb's 5th Birthday (how could that be?)
staging/decorating a home that's for sale (two more in the cue)
dentist appointment
meetings and dinners
and the grand finale, a wedding that will truly be THE event of the season!

Okay. Listing it out didn't really make me feel any better, but that's only because I was already fully aware of everything that's going on right now. No surprises. But, I think it was necessary, if only to justify the basketcase-edness that I've been experiencing for the last several weeks. Surely a list like that would inarguable justify a few breakdowns and fits of tears, right? Wow, I sound whiny right now. This is not to say that any particular thing that is happening is bad. Compared to the trials that some people are experiencing, this is actually an overload of good things, and for that I am truly thankful. I just have to keep reminding myself of that in the midst of the day-to-day battle of getting it all done.

I think the only real struggle is that I haven't been able to sleep. Those of you who know me well know that I need sleep. Like 9 hours. Every night. As you can see by the time-stamp, though, I'm posting in the wee hours. This is my 4th night in a row of not-enough sleep, like 4 to 6 hours. Once or twice is fine, but this is getting to be a large enough deficit for my taste, thank-you-very-much. I thought I'd finally be able to sleep tonight because we closed on the sale of our investment house this evening - a HUGE answer to prayer. Nevertheless, there's still so much on my mind that here I sit in the pitch black, wide awake. I think insomnia is probably worse than Chinese water torture, although I can't say that from any real, first-hand experience. But, it seems like a reasonable comparison. So, pleeeaase pray that I can get some sleep!

Okay. Enough for now. Thank you for letting me indulge in a pity party. I don't know that it really accomplished anything. They rarely do. But, sitting here typing is definitely better than laying in bed and NOT sleeping. I guess I'll go try (more) soft music, (more) prayer and (more) reading. And probably a good dose of Tylenol. This not-sleeping business leaves me with a headache!

Goodnight...

PS - I've already received a HUGE amount of help in getting things done. Zach, Mom, Dad, Jennie... Thank you SO much for bailing me out. I really needed it and, honestly, couldn't do it without you.

The Weekend in Words

2009-07-17T03:36:00.005-05:00

What a wonderful weekend we had last week! Definitely the stuff good memories are made of, and yet, here it is almost a full week later, and I still haven't had the chance to blog about the incredible times we had. (More on "the busy-ness" later.) Anyways, the only thing that could possibly have made it better was if Zach had been able to join in the festivities. Unfortunately he was busy working on various projects throughout the weekend. Such is life these days. But, nonetheless, it really was a fabulous weekend. Every time I think of all we did and saw, it scrolls through my mind in a series of words and images. I'll have to post some of the pictures later, but for now, the words:

water park, fun in the sun, freedom from fear, shrieks of laughter, lots and lots of sunscreen, soggy boys, soggy mommy, soggy Auntie and Uncle, picnic with a super-special Birthday Lady, boys conked out in their car seats, driving through Corrales for the-fun-of-it, dinner with family, riding bikes, time with good friends, lots of babies in tow, morning walk, country fun, grower's market, soft pretzels, artisans, first sno cone, first bus ride, Caleb's head peeking out the window, Caleb's laughter, "Now this is what I call HIGH SPEED!", lavendar fields, glorious lilly pond, beautiful gardens, new discoveries, craftsmanship, pomegranate tree, fig tree, roaming peacocks, albino peacock, artichoke blossoms, found a peacock feather, lost a peacock feather, (bummed about the peacock feather), bamboo tunnel, dirty boys, farm animals, "moooooo", pizza with friends, watermelon juice dripping from a chubby chin, more gardens, found TWO peacock feathers, boys conked out in their car seats (again), dinner with hubby...

Like I said, wonderful.

Happy Birthday, to me!

2009-07-02T15:37:00.008-05:00

This is it. Tomorrow is the big 3-0. Really, in my mind, it's the first real milestone birthday where the aging issue actually comes into play. Turning 20? At that point you're almost to 21 and to adulthood. You're too busy having fun to care one way or another. Turning 30, though, is a whole different can of worms.

And what, you may ask, are my thoughts on turning 30? Who cares? The older the better, I say! Every passing year has been full of more joy, more life and more love. So why would I worry about getting older? Bring it on! (Although I do reserve the right to change my answer once gravity starts to kick in, once I start finding gray hairs and once my skin is pruney even before a good soak.)

As for my thoughts about this birthday thing and life-in-general right now, they were summed up perfectly by a super-dear friend that sent this card to me in the mail today. Are you ready?

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Ha! Really, I couldn't have said it better. I love, LOVE, looove my boys (all three of them), but I'm definitely ready for a break from the little two. The 24/7 nature of mommy-hood is starting to wear me down. But, I'm fixing to get a break. My sweet hubby picked up on the fact that my frazzled nerves are wearing thin and is sending me out for the afternoon. (I wonder what it was that tipped him off? The bleary, blood-shot eyes? Or maybe it's the way I've taken to screaming "What do you want from me?" every time someone says my name?)

Out to do what? I don't know. He said, "Whatever the heck it is that you girls do."

Buy another pair of brown sandals because the 3 pairs that are already in the closet aren't quite right? Rip the hair out of our bodies with hot wax for the fun of it? Smear goo on our faces to make us feel more youthful and vibrant? (Now that I put it that way, is sounds like we're a pretty weird lot. No wonder guys don't get us. But, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank God for my two Xs!!!)

So, anyways. I'm set to escape for the afternoon. Zach even told me that I don't have to come home until after the two monsters are tucked into bed. Yippieee! Whatever will I do with myself? I'm thinking I might try a hot yoga class. I've always been curious. (Mostly about whether or not I'd pass out before the class was through.) No telling where the day will take me! I'll fill you in later. For now I've got some time to spend doing whatever the heck I want, followed by at least 2 solid days of birthday celebration, so I'd better get to it!

PS - Chris, the angels might sing on your birthday, but have you ever had parades and fireworks in your honor? Those are for me, right?

PS#2 - Zach, thank you SO much for the incredible man, husband and father that you are. I'm blessed to have you! Thank you for understanding my need to disappear for a while. You're amazing and I'm so blessed that you're mine!

Enough!!!

2009-07-01T12:41:00.009-05:00

Have you ever felt like you've got so many balls up in the air that at any given moment everything will just go flying off into different directions? That you're responsible for this ever-expanding, filmy-thin bubble that, with one wrong turn, is going to pop? Do you ever feel like you just want to throw your hands up in the air with abandon, let everything fall where it may, scream "to hell with it all" and race off into the sunset? (Of course you'd still have to take your family into the sunset with you, because what good would life be without them anyways? But still. I'm sure you get my point.)

I'm almost there.

Sometimes when people are pressed they'll say, "If it's not one thing, it's another." What if it's five others? Or six? Or seven?

The other thing I often hear people say is, "God doesn't give us any more than we can handle."

Bull. I've never liked that sentiment. It pretty clearly sends the message that all this "stuff" is from God. The God I know and love gives life and gives it abundantly. When things start pressing in and smothering, it sure doesn't feel like God to me. I don't think this is how He meant for life to feel.

In the face of challenge, there's only one thing I've ever heard that feels like life to me.

I Am.

It's probably the shortest complete sentence ever, but, Oh! How complete it is! In our mode of do-it-all and be-it-all, it'd be tempting to want to complete the sentence with something, anything. But, that's beside the point. I think He left it open-ended on purpose. That's the only way it can really be complete.

I Am.

Your place of refuge. Your provider. Your ever-present help in time of need. The beginning. The end. Your shepherd. The one who calms storms with His word. The one who brings life with His word. The way. The truth. The life.

It's amazing just how much can be communicated with two little words, if you believe them.

Everything that I need, the solution to every trial, is found in Him.

By Jesus' own example, when the crowds started to press in on Him, He left. So why can't/won't we do the same? What's the difference? His obligations and commitments were so much more important than ours. If He was able to drop everything and retreat to a place of rest, in His Father's presence, then why can't I? Why is it that meeting with my clients, doing my work, organizing a birthday party, cleaning my house (etc.) are all so pressing that they can't be put off? And, really, that's beside the point. Because who am I to worry about all my "to do-s" when there are so many others just longing to find shelter from the wind and the cold, or wondering when they will eat again? Why is it that my truly trivial worries seem so all-consuming?

Priorities, I guess. I don't want to acknowledge that, though, because if that's the case, then mine are most certainly out of whack. I think that a serious reality check is in order, followed by a very thorough dose of I Am.

The Week In Review

2009-06-26T17:23:00.012-05:00

And, oh, what a week it's been! This is for you, Momo and Papa! (They are off gallivanting across the country, so they've missed out on the day-to-day.) Here's a not-so-quick recap:

Thursday, June 18th
The gallery that is featuring some of Dave's photos opened tonight. It was fun and, well, interesting. The gallery is downtown and actually getting out into some of the city night life made me feel old and out of it. I guess I am, but I think I'm happy that way. As Debbie T. put it, while we were standing in the gallery, "I think we might be a little white bread for this place." It was true, but oh well. One of Dave's pictures (in his cool, custom metal frame) was auctioned off and it went for the highest bid out of all the auctioned pieces! Yay, Dave!

Friday, June 19th
I'd promised Caleb that we'd go to a local water park ("sprayground") for him to play, but he brought a cough home from VBS last week. That put our water plans on hold, temporarily. I felt bad, though, so...this evening we broke out the Slip 'n Slide!!!

We were pretty curious to see what the boys would do. But, it was kind-of a non-event. At least for the boys, that is. Owen didn't want anything to do with it. Caleb was coaxed to go up and down it a few times, but only with me holding his hands and dragging him up and down and back and forth. Every time he did it on his own, I think he was scared to dive down onto his tummy, so he'd just try to run the entire length of the thing. Needless to say, that didn't work. So, it looked like the Slip 'n Slide was going to be a dud...until Chris, Jane and Haven drove up. By the look in her eye, you could tell that Jane wanted to give it a whirl the second she laid eyes on that slippery, yellow stretch of plastic. And she did herself proud! By the end of the evening Zach and I had both tried it too, but not with as much finesse and skill as Jane had managed. That girl can slip AND slide.

Saturday, June 20th
The boys and I helped Faerl shop for shoes for her wedding while Zach went for a day-long mountain bike ride. Zach came away from his endeavors happy and tired, but with scratches, scars and mud all over. The boys and I had a great time and we helped Faerl find a great pair of shoes. Although, as Momo can attest, Caleb's style is a little extreme. During the course of the morning, he suggested about 20 pairs of shoes that were much more along the lines of "street walker" rather than "wedding chic". What can I say? My boy's sense of style is a bit on the wild side. (More on that in a minute...)

Sunday, June 21st
Happy Father's Day! We missed you, Papa! The day was wonderful, but definitely not complete without a hug from my Daddy. I took a raincheck, so you'll have to pay up as soon as you get home.

Monday, June 22nd
Laundry...ick. Although, I think I'm on to something. I just started a new bottle of fabric softener and this time, instead of buying the cheap-o Suavitelle that has all the writing on the bottle in Spanish, I splurged the extra $2 and got a bottle of Downy. A bulk-sized, 150 load bottle of Downy, mind you. It smells SO much better! I think it may actually make doing the laundry a more pleasurable task. It's still a chore, for sure, but at least a little more enjoyable with the new softener. Now if I could only figure out how to get the laundry to march itself Fantasia-style off to its respective drawer/hanger/closet/etc, now THAT would be something! (I told Zach I was just going to build a huge bin in the middle of the house and throw all the clean laundry in there and it'd stay there until someone pulled it out to wear it. He wasn't too keen on the idea, but I swear I might just try it someday.)

Tuesday, June 23rd
Picnic with Zach @ the park during his lunch break. It was nice, as usual, to get to have time with him during the work day. We got home just in time...there was a massive thunder and rain storm right after I got the boys laid down for their afternoon naps. I'm surprised they were able to sleep, though. The thunder was so loud that it was setting off all the neighborhood car alarms!

Wednesday, June 24th
Another massive rain storm. Yay! Zach rode his bike to work in the morning and then we picked him up so we could go to church together. Good thing we did, too, because he would have been soaked in the downpour! (PS - Momo and Papa, I have no idea if it's been raining at your house.)

Thursday, June 25th
This evening we had our monthly Book Club meeting. (The Book Club that doesn't read books.) We had a picnic at a park and it was lovely. A little soggy, but not bad. Everyone had a great time. We missed you, Mom!

And, while I was at Book Club, Zach and Caleb had what has come to be known as "Guy Night". A few days prior, Zach asked Caleb what he wanted for dinner for their guy night. He said, "Sushi." Good grief. Who needs a 4-year-old that likes sushi?!? But, it turns out that maybe it wasn't meant to be. When I got home, I found out that he'd been puking his poor little guts out all evening. Maybe that's a slight exaggeration, in that his guts didn't actually come out. I'm pretty convinced, though, that they would have if they weren't so well attached. The poor little guy heaved into the middle of the night! Poor thing! He had been fine until dinner. So, we're thinking we just discovered that Caleb is allergic to shell fish!

Oh, and one more thing. Earlier I mentioned Caleb's fashion sense. Well, this is what he chose to wear today:

Yes, those are black tights under his shorts. He thinks they're running pants (like mine), so he wants to wear them. They're actually black tights that he wore for his Harvest Party costume when he was 2! The crotch is barely above his knees, but he apparently thinks the discomfort is a small price to pay in the name of being a true fashion icon!

Friday, June 26th
We finally made it to the sprayground! As I suspected would happen, neither of the boys really cared much for the water. Owen was plenty excited to watch it and yell, "Wattie, wattie!" But, he definitely didn't like getting sprayed. Caleb did okay, in that there were no accidental dousings and subsequent meltdowns. But he really didn't get all that wet. I was actually the wettest out of all three of us, and all I was trying to do was get them into the water. Good grief. The only pictures I got were during lunch time, but there were a few good ones. Oh, and I had to keep a close eye on Owen, he kept walking up to other kids' shoes, slipping his feet in and walking off! And, when he wasn't stealing shoes he was busy flirting with all the little ladies. I think he felt extra confident in his lizard trunks!

And, the grande finale...Wiggle Bootie!
This video is actually from Friday evening when we were doing Slip 'n Slide. I chose not to include it under any specific day, however, because Wiggle Bootie is more the result of an evolution of skill and excitement. I think you (Momo and Papa) had even seen it once or twice before you left. But, each time he does it the wiggle gets better and better. I think this boy lives to perform! So, without further ado, I give you Wiggle Bootie:

Puzzle

2009-06-17T15:14:00.005-05:00

If I were a puzzle piece, I'd want to be the one that gets to snuggle right up next to you. Actually, that's the only way I'd have it. I insist. Because, you're the one for me.

If life was a puzzle (which oftentimes it is), I'd want to work it out with you. If I've learned anything over the last 9 years, it's been that life with you, whether in good times or bad, really is something to treasure. There's no one else I'd rather have by my side as we maneuver our way through the maze. (Plus your survival savvy and always-turn-right logic are sure to get us through any sticky situation. But, even if we get lost for a while, I have also learned that there's no one better to have an adventure with, than you.)

If you were a puzzle...wait a minute. You are a puzzle. Not so much in the manner of:

1.	a toy, problem, or other contrivance designed to amuse by presenting difficulties to be solved by ingenuity or patient effort.

But, sort of. You definitely amuse. You can be difficult and you have certainly required some patient effort. (And so have I.) But, look at what an incredible result has come of that patient effort, on both our parts. And, I know the best is still yet to come. I am SO excited about growing old with you. Bring on the wrinkles and gray hair, as long as you're with me and getting them, too. I look forward to the future - our future. It's so very bright. Thank you for being my shining light.

Happy Anniversary, my dear Zach. I love you!

What happens?

2009-06-10T19:29:00.003-05:00

What happens when you gush mashed potatoes into your hair?

A super cool hair-do.

I might just try it sometime.

The Crazy Lady at the Gas Station

2009-06-09T10:16:00.006-05:00

Okay. Everybody ready? Here we go...SNL cheerleaders style:

Who's-the-crazy-lady-at-the-gas-station? It's me! It's me!

Sorry for that. I just couldn't resist.

So, really. I came to the realization the other day that most people that see me fill my car with gas must thing I'm absolutely nuts. Why? Because I've discovered it's prime time for evoking some serious laughs from the boys.

One of Caleb's favorite games is when I stand right outside his window and whistle, staring off into the sky. He bangs his fist against the window and I jump and startle. He thinks it's hilarious. Owen's favorite is when I do the classic comedic illusion of pretending to walk down stairs until I'm out of sight. Then I pop back up and surprise them both. I'm sure I don't do the trick well, but how hard is it to please a not-quite-two-year-old? Not too hard. There's also a plethora of funny faces, growls and peek-a-boos, all of which lead to uncontrolled peals of laughter.

I think that's probably what led me to realize just how ridiculous I must look. I was in the middle of sticking out my tongue at the boys, complete with thumbs in ears and wiggling fingers, when I saw my reflection in the window. At that point, I also realized just how dark the tint is on my windows. I can see the boys, because I'm right up close. But, to the average station patron, I'm sure I look like a lunatic. I can hear it now. "Mom, why is that lady popping up and down and making faces at her car?" "I don't know Sweetie. Try not to stare. Let's go somewhere else."

Oh well. Will I stop? Heck no. Just one of those great belly laughs makes it all worth while, even if the cost is my dignity. This certainly isn't the first time it's been sacrificed in the name of motherhood, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I'm SO Green.

2009-05-22T22:26:00.008-05:00

Okay, maybe not that green, at least not the kind you're thinking. (Although, in my mind, it's definitely something to which we should all aspire.)

No. I'm talking green. Seriously. I've recently become aware of how sometimes favorites sneak up on a person. It almost feels like maybe they chose you, rather than the other way around. Know what I mean?

I think it started slowly. A green purse a few years back. No particular reason why, other than it was a nice size, had all the right pockets and I figured it'd go with just about everything. (You know, that fabulous match by not matching thing.) Anyways. Then it was a green phone. Then it was a green kitchen. (A little bit too green, but whatever. It's paint. It's easy to fix.) Then it was time for a new purse. Didn't really see any that I liked. They were all pink and orange and weird. I realized what it was I was looking for...something green. (And later I found it, bought it and love it!) It wasn't until today, though, that the weight of the obsession hit me, and really made me laugh. Walking into the library with my green purse, wearing my green scarf and carrying my green tote bag, I started to wonder... "Hmm. Is this too much green?" (I probably would have been wearing my green shoes, too - thank you, Faerl - if it wasn't flip flop season...got to take advantage of every second!)

And that's where the choosing ME part comes into play. If you asked me what my favorite color is, I wouldn't say green. (Not that I don't like it, I just feel like I'd be cheating on all the other fabulous colors out there if I were to specify a single one.) But for some reason that's completely unbeknownst to me, I just keep gravitating towards all things green.

I know my sister has experienced this same phenomenon. She took an objective look at the clothes in her closet one day and realized that the vast majority of her tops were all variations of the same thing...blue stripes. And even after making the discovery, she was still drawn to that very same thing every time she went shopping. Weird!

So, I'm curious. Has anyone else experienced this, or are we just the only two? If we are, it wouldn't surprise me. We're both a bit odd, but we'd love some company...please? I'd love to know if we're not alone and I'd love to know what kind of obsessions have taken you by surprise.

Do tell!

P.S. Fun fact: I just found a web site that gives the meanings of colors. It says that "...green is life. Abundant in nature, green signifies growth, renewal, health, and environment. On the flip side, green is jealousy or envy (green-eyed monster) and inexperience." Hmm. Interesting. (If I am jealous, it's probably because you have something green that I like!)

Laser Therapy, Here I Come!

2009-05-20T09:32:00.003-05:00

You know how the truth hurts? Well, somehow children have an uncanny ability to speak the truth...mostly because they don't know that it CAN hurt.

Caleb was looking at my legs last night and he spotted a little patch of veins that were peeking through my fair skin. "Mom!" He was incredulous... "Do you have a tattoo of little purple squiggles on your leg?"

Yeow. (I really should be flattered, though. I knew they were there, so it wasn't any surprise to me. And, in actuality, I bet Caleb would LOVE to get a tattoo just like mine.) Oh well...

Where did it go?

2009-05-14T14:47:00.008-05:00

Can someone please help me? I've lost something, and can't even imagine where it might have gone...

Where? Oh where, has the time gone?

Today is the last day of Caleb's first year in school. Okay, so it was only preschool, but still. That part doesn't worry me. The part that takes my breath away is how fast it went. If every year goes as quickly as this one did, he'll be graduating from high school before I can even turn around.

Here's a picture of my little Caleb in August, on his first day of school:

And here's my little rock star now:

Note: In case you're concerned, he doesn't normally sport blue hair and tattoos. Although, maybe you should be, because, given the opportunity, he'd jump at the chance.

His preschool put on an end of the year rock performance a few weeks ago and my guy was definitely in his element. He didn't actually sing along to any of the songs. But, you'd better believe that his leg was bouncing, keeping time, and he was strumming his inflatable guitar through the whole show. (When he wasn't turned around backwards talking to his friends, that is, or blowing kisses to his mommy from the stage.) Aagh, my Caleb. I love him.

And, if that change and growth doesn't knock your socks off, check out "Tank", as Uncle Dave ("Un Da", in Owen-speak) has taken to calling him:

A year ago he was drooly and just learning to stand.

Baby, just look at you now. He's running, playing, talking. He's got dirt smeared on his face and he wishes with all his might that he was one of the big boys already. Before I know it, he will be.

My Brother the Photographer

2009-03-25T10:57:00.008-05:00

Dave took some photos lately that I really like. They were on my computer, so I figured I'd share.

Great work, Dave! Keep them coming.

And this picture was taken quite a while ago, almost 3 years ago, in fact. For obvious reasons, though, it'll always be my favorite.

PS - Happy Birthday, Dave!!!

Random and Bizarre

2009-03-25T10:08:00.002-05:00

I've realized lately that a few of the thoughts that pop up in my head are just that...random and bizarre. I'm sure it's entirely due to being a mother and, in addition, mostly likely attributable to being a mother of boys.

A small sampling of those thoughts:

What's in your mouth? [Cat food - Owen. I thought he was looking a little extra chubby these days.]

What did you just say? ["Oh, snap." Yep. Caleb was watching a video with his daddy online and that's what he came up with. I finally figured out where he got that from - one of his favorite cartoons. The best part is that he misunderstood and what he really said was, "Oh, snaps."]

What did you just say? ["Doodie. Doodie." Knowing that boys usually have snakes, snails, puppy dog tails and all sorts of "icky" things in mind, you wouldn't immediately guess that this means drink, but it does. Just in the last week I've finally been able to figure out a bit of Owen's baby language. Doodie is drink, Lalo is Caleb. It's so much fun to actually be able to communicate - sort of - with him!]

Is that a lizard in your pants? [As a matter of fact, it was. It was a squishy, plastic one, but nonetheless, Owen had it in his pants. I'm sure big brother had a hand in helping with that one.]

That's it for now. Sorry the posts have been few and far between lately. But, believe me, it only means that we're busy enjoying life. The antics never stop, so I'll pass on a few more next time I get to catch my breath!

Lots of love,
Sarah

Taylor #5

2009-02-20T16:24:00.012-06:00

Meet May...the newest addition to the Taylor household.

If you are unfamiliar with our previous pet endeavors, you'll have to read back a little ways to Meet Squirt and the very prompt sequel, Rest in Peace, Little Squirt. After that brief review, it's obvious that we weren't going to go the fish route again. Dogs are awesome, but too much work. Reptiles are just creepy. A rock probably wouldn't have cut it for long. So, a cat. Zach and I both enjoy them, as long as they stay inside all the time--otherwise the itchy, red eyes and sneezing ensue.

Why did we need a pet in the first place? Probably the main reason is because it's been long enough since the last one that I've forgotten that they involve WORK and not just cuddling and playing. Oh well. The real, very-close-second-place reason is because the thought of Caleb's classmates asking about pets and him having absolutely nothing to report just broke our hearts. Every little boy needs a pet--thus, May.

She came from the parents of a sister's friend sort of relationship. They knew we were looking. Our first choice would have been a Hackett cat. I have never in my life seen any other cat that could be held upside down by one leg and still not fight back. Not that a cat should ever be treated that way, but...I'm a realist. It's going to happen. May came from a family with lots and lots of kids, though, and it's evident. She's an absolute sweetheart. She takes the poking, prodding, squeezing and tugging in stride and comes back for more. She hasn't scratched or squirmed once and, believe me, there have been plenty of instances where such behavior would have been absolutely justified. But, like I said, she's a sweet, sweet girl. (Stinky, if you ask me, but sweet.)

So, enough words, bring on the pictures...

Caleb is absolutely in love...

And the following little photo sequence makes me laugh! This is pretty much the exact order of how things "went down".

I knew Owen likes to throw down, but I really thought he was above cat-wrestling. Joking aside, though, he is also completely in love and I can attest to the fact that May has already received far more

kisses

and hugs

than Zach and I--combined! Not fair! I guess we just can't compete with little Miss May.

A little Friday fun...

2009-02-06T11:59:00.006-06:00

Just wishing everyone a fun and happy weekend. And, as you go about your weekend's activities, have no fear...Superman's ever-watchful eye will be making sure you are safe.

If you think that's special, you should have seen it after he added his cowboy (scratch that), SUPERMAN boots to the ensemble. Ohh la la! If you ask me, Superman has never looked so good! (Although something tells me Faerl could come up with a striking superhero getup as well!)

Mommy, Don't Kill the Hygienist

2009-01-20T15:52:00.010-06:00

So, to ring in the new year in good form, our church is having a 40-day "fast" in which we are abstaining from evil speaking - choosing to walk in love and speak in love. After all, that's what Jesus did, and we are to be imitators of Christ. I have to admit, though, that I broke my fast this morning. Now I have to seek forgiveness for that, and for holding a grudge, because "the incident" happened over 4 hours ago, and I'm still ticked.

Caleb had his second dentist visit this morning. I was SO proud of him, because he was super brave. His first visit was a little rough. He was a little timid. There were a few tears before I could convince him to let them operate their scary contraptions inside his mouth. But, after seeing the mother-lode of dental paraphernalia he got after his first visit, this one was a breeze. No coaxing necessary. He was amazing and, thankfully, the hygienist appreciated and acknowledged his bravery.

The cleaning was over and it was time for the dentist to take a peek. He did his thing and then asked if I had any questions. I asked for some tips as to how to help Caleb stop sucking his thumb. He's definitely old enough now, and we need to get that behind him so it won't do any (more) damage to his bite. The dentist asked me to wait and said he'd have one of the other hygienists come in to talk to us.

After a few minutes, a girl came in and started to talk to Caleb about this PLAN where he'd get to wear a football wrap at night (aka Ace bandage) to help him stop sucking his thumb, since he's such a big boy now. Caleb seemed to be on board with the plan and it was going well. Then, seeing Caleb holding on to his bear, she actually had the nerve to tell him that he was going to have to choose a baby or someone else that was younger than him and give the bear to them.

(@*&**#!)

If you know Caleb at all, you know not to mess with Bear. He's had him since he was one, and he's hardly left his side. As you can imagine, it wouldn't have mattered if she promised Caleb a ride in a spaceship, every word she said after that was NOT okay. She was dead to him, and to me, too, for that matter. Obviously, she doesn't have kids. I'm game to try the bandage, but I'm certainly not going to take his bear away. And I had to reassure him of that SEVERAL times before the tears would stop.

In retrospect, I have to wonder who is more attached to that bear - me, or Caleb. Caleb cried at the thought of losing him. I wanted to knock that girl's lights out for even mentioning the idea. I'm sure it's not necessarily the actual bear that I'm clinging to, just an idea. Just the memory of when Zach and I first gave him that bear. He could hardly walk, but he toddled right up to him and grabbed on tight. Bear was half as big as my little boy. I'm still ready to tear up at the thought of taking away his bear. I can tell you, it's not going to happen. And, I'm thinking we should probably find a new dentist office to visit next time. That hygienist tapped into "mommy bear" territory, and she might not be safe if our paths cross again.

PS #1 - Pastor Bryan, please don't be discouraged by my behavior. It was definitely in no way a reflection on your teaching or your example.

PS #2 - Jesus, please forgive me for not walking in love and please keep renewing my mind, because I'm not sure if I'm done being mad yet.

It's official!

2009-01-15T07:46:00.007-06:00

I just got the call yesterday afternoon. I can now officially call myself Sarah Taylor CD(DONA)! After two years of work, I received certification from (what most consider) the most prestigious doula organization in the world. Yippie!!! I'm so excited. Please pray with me that I receive clear direction about where to go with this and how to use this tool. God's placed a call on my heart to help women and now I just need to know exactly how and what that's supposed to look like.

In the mean time, it's a goal attained and now I'll have to figure out what I'll be up to next. Maybe I'll paint the kitchen...seriously.

A Day in the Life

2009-01-02T10:37:00.005-06:00

Sorry for the posting hiatus. It's definitely not an indicator of lack of material. In fact, it's almost the opposite - such a surplus that I don't even know where to begin. The things I've wanted to share the most, though, have been the little antics and moments of craziness that could only be found in the day-to-day lives of two little boys...

First, Caleb.

Actually, I should say "the boy formerly known as Caleb". Why? Because if you met him today and I introduced him as Caleb, he'd correct me in a very serious and somewhat frustrated tone to say, "No, Mom. Remember, it's Fire. You're supposed to call me Fire now!" He picked that name a few weeks ago, because he's so fast, and hasn't given up on it yet. Must be a keeper.

He's obsessed with all things "Star Wars" these days, and regularly runs around pretending he's a Storm Trooper - costume and all. We got him a light saber for Christmas, it was the thing he asked for the very most. And Uncle Dave got him a Storm Trooper helmet. It's so big on him that he looks like a bobble head that I should stick on the dash of my car. But, don't tell him that. I'm sure his self esteem is intact securely enough that it wouldn't hurt him any, but still. When he asks you how he looks, please just tell him that he's the coolest Storm Trooper ever and just try to muffle your giggles under your breath.

Yesterday we met my friend Jane for lunch, but we were a little ahead of her. I told Caleb that we were going to beat her there. He said, "Yeah. She's a slow poke. And we're the fast poke team."

Earlier this week, I sent him to brush his teeth before bed. After a few minutes, I figured I'd better go oversee his progress. As I walked down the hall, I saw that he was busy rubbing his head with a towel. I started to lecture, saying he hadn't brushed long enough to be drying off yet. Before I could even begin, though, he looked at me with a pretty bewildered face and asked for help. He said he was trying to squeeze some toothpaste onto his toothbrush and that it got in his hair. How in the world did the toothpaste end up in his hair? Your guess is as good as mine, but sure enough...he had gobs of blue sparkles gunked all over his head.

A few weeks ago, after he woke from his nap, I spent a few minutes snuggling on the couch with him. I put my hand on his chest and felt crusties of dried 'something'. If you have any experience with boys, you know that there's absolutely no telling what that something might have been. I commented on it, saying it was yucky and we needed to wash him off. He agreed, with a worn-out sigh, "Yeah. That's from earlier when I was fighting the dragons. They slobbered on me."

And then there's Owen...

He's busy developing more and more character every day. He's added a few new words to his repertoire, too. He says Daddy all the time and he started saying puppy a few weeks ago. The best part is the accent he added a few days ago. Now, he says them quite forcefully with a pretty convincing Stallone/Rocky accent. It's hilarious.

His latest and greatest antic, however, has to be his recently kindled love affair with my vacuum cleaner. Every time he hears me start it up, he comes running. He loves to hold the handle with me. He's too little to push it, but he just stands there holding it, happy as can be, while he makes a great "vvvroooomm" noise. A few days ago he discovered his favorite feature. The hose. I pulled it off to suck up something hiding back in a corner. He saw the thing and HAD to check it out. I handed it to him, fully expecting him to suction his hand or jammies, freak out and start crying. I should have realized, though, that he was more likely to explore as most babies do...with their mouths. He held the thing right up to his lips and away they went, right down the tube. He startled and got it pulled off while I braced myself for the coming tears. It must not have hurt him, though. In fact, he must have kinda liked it, because he did it again. And again. After the third time I took it away. If I didn't I probably would have wet my pants because he had me laughing so hard. I hope that his next love that results in hickies won't happen for a long, long time.

Oh, my boys! I can't even imagine how boring, tidy and un-eventful life would be without them.

Blog Award

2008-12-08T10:34:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago I was very honored to receive a blog award from a friend, Carrie McKean from Signs of Hope. I've only had the pleasure of seeing her a couple of times since she currently lives on the other side of the globe. It was a fun surprise, and now it's time for me to pass it on.

The qualifications to receive the award are:
A. Display a cheerful attitude
B. Love one another
C. Make mistakes
D. Learn from others
E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world
F. Love life
G. Love kids

The Rules:
1. Must link it back to the creator
2. Post the rules
3. Choose 5 people to give it to
4. Recipients must fill the characteristics above
5. Create a post to share this
6. You must thank the winner

I'm going to follow Carrie's lead and only choose 1 person. (Hey, if she can cheat, so can I. Right?) So, I choose Bryan Hackett at Simple Thoughts.

Why did I choose Bryan?

A. Display a cheerful attitude - if his current post, It's Only Stuff, doesn't display this attitude, I don't know what does.

B. Love one another - although a self-proclaimed introvert, it's impossible to come into contact with Bryan and not know that you are really loved.

C. Make mistakes - and he actually admits to them, from the pulpit. It's difficult enough for most of us to reveal our imperfections, but doing so in front of others can be even harder.

D. Learn from others - he's hungry for knowledge and it's encouraging to see that he is willing to acknowledge the value of ideas from unconventional sources.

E. Be a positive contributor to the blog world - his blog is very thought provoking.

F. Love life - yes, he'd rather be in heaven, but he's enjoying every minute while he's here and working to take as many people with him as possible.

G. Love kids - let's just say that if he does go to China some day, they'd better check his bags to make sure he doesn't bring back a few. Just kidding. He would bring at least one back, but I know he'd do it legitimately. :)

Anyways, thanks again to Carrie for the award and thanks to Bryan for everything you are and for everything you do. You're a blessing!

Thanks - Giving

2008-11-24T16:33:00.007-06:00

As I sit in front of my Mac, in my warm home and with my full belly, I am thinking about the special holiday to come. Thanksgiving. It's probably my favorite. Everything is extravagant, lavish, full of delight. The images floating through my head are akin to these:

Like I said, extravagant, lavish, delightful. While sitting here thinking about Thanksgiving, it dawned on me that that's really one word, a noun, that is made up of two complete, separate words. Thanks, a noun, and Giving, a verb. Verbs require action. Yes, of course, I'm thankful for the things I have, for the people I love and who love me back, and for the incredible provision and abundance I experience day in and day out. However, how often do my actions re-affirm this sentiment?

Over the coming year, I'm determined to live with a greater attitude of thankfulness. Rather than just remembering to regularly acknowledge and thank God for the abundance in our lives, I believe we're called to take it one step further. Have you ever really stopped to consider the depth behind the idea of "dying to yourself so that others might live"? Recently I did just that and it blew me away. Before I'd always thought, "Yeah, yeah, die to myself. I know. That means I need to put the needs of others before myself." Somewhere along the way, I'd never really considered the true significance and weight of the part about the "so others might live". I'd never really stopped to consider how dying to myself might actually make a difference in the life (or prevent the death) of someone else.

Maybe this child? Or maybe one of the countless many like him?

I'm struggling in the middle of wanting to make a difference and sinking into despair with the weight of the world's problems. Can one person make a difference? And how? What kind of action does it really take to GIVE thanks? I'm sure you're like me, in that looking at pictures of children suffering can send you to the pits of guilt and depression in the matter of seconds. I've been there, and it doesn't help. It's not the point. What is? To GIVE thanks. How? We've got our instructions. Die to yourself. Be Jesus to the world. It doesn't necessarily take selling all your possessions and moving to Africa. But what about going without one more cup of $4 joe and giving it to the guy on the corner who may or may not have eaten today? What about giving your old coat to someone who's shivering in the cold? Little ripples can be the beginning of big waves. Battling Self is an on-going, never-ending process. I wish it'd get easier, but I'm sure it won't. I am "the chief of sinners". Thank God, though, that he cares even for the sparrow. He knows their needs. He hasn't forgotten them. Jesus, please help us to remember them, too.

Thank God...

2008-11-04T15:56:00.003-06:00

I am in no way making a political statement here...other than "politics stinks"! I just can't believe how ugly people can get! Guess where I found this picture? It was on the side of a Blake's Lotaburger drink cup! Are they actually being audacious enough to call Obama an @$$ right on the side of something they hand out from their business all day long? Yikes! Jesus, please help us.

So, like I said: Thank God!

Thank God this election is almost over. And, more than anything, thank God that our future, our security and our peace lies with Him and NOT with whoever is in the oval office.

What do you think?

2008-11-03T18:26:00.004-06:00

It's been a while now, but several months ago I came across a phrase online that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. I can't remember if it was the title to a song or what, but I thought it'd make an interesting blog topic. The phrase was:

the nobility of barren prayer

I'm a dictionary girl, so when I think about this in Webster terms, I come up with something like this:

a distinguished and exalted state of prayer that is incapable of producing results

Hmm. Is there a problem there, or am I just reading into things? Yes, I do understand that some prayers don't get answered. In our fallen state, we don't always ask for things that are in line with God's will for us. And, God's will can't always be expressed because of the influence of evil on the Earth. But? I guess I see a point in that there is something noble about persevering in the face of petitions that seem to go unanswered. After all, aren't we supposed to try, try and try again? But, I think the way I read it is more of a focus just on the "barren prayer" part. It smacked me square in the face. Is there any such thing? Regardless or whether the prayer is being answered, you're still communing with our Creator, right? Building relationship is paramount, I'd think.

What do you think?

Ladies' Man

2008-10-17T16:31:00.003-05:00

I wish that there was some way I could have music playing in the background for particular posts. The song I'd pick for this one would have a definite "bow-chi-chi-bow-bow" theme.

First, I must start by thanking my brother, David or "Uncie Dave", for imparting such valuable nuggets of life knowledge to my Caleb. He is, I'm sure, the only four-year-old that knows what it means to drop a deuce. He's also got a killer handshake. He can "bump-it, pound-it and lock-it-down" with more enthusiasm and skill than the average Joe. All of these character defining abilities are due to Dave's influence. (Thank you, again.)

Yesterday, Dave taught Caleb how to wink. Not "just wink", though. He specifically taught him how to wink AT GIRLS. He told him, for instance, that he could wink at Nycole (Dave's girlfriend) and at Faerl. He told them that it'd make them feel really special and nice. So, he practiced his new skill for a few minutes and that was the end of that. When I picked him up from school, though, I was getting him into his car seat and he kept making the weirdest looking face at me. It was then that I realized I was on the receiving end of one of his special winks. Not wanting to fail in my responsibility to provide him with an appropriate reaction, I told him that I missed it and asked if he'd mind doing it again. He was happy to oblige. But first, he said, "Okay. I'll wink and then you say: 'Oohhh! I LOVE HIM!'" (Imagine Caleb with eyes rolled back and a swoony voice...) Yes. He's figured out how this winking thing works and, apparently, he's prepared to use it on unsuspecting females, so watch out!

Then...

This afternoon we were chatting while he was having a snack. He asked if we could have a baby girl some time. I told him that I'd LOVE to have a baby girl and I asked if he'd like to have a baby sister. He said, "Yeah! And I can kiss her, because girls are BEAUTIFUL!"

Yikes! I know most parents don't threaten/need to lock their kids in a closet until they hit puberty, but can we go ahead and throw him in now?

Oh, Boy(s)!

2008-10-09T10:22:00.005-05:00

Last night, Caleb asked for a corn dog for dinner. Ordinarily, he'd eat two, but his appetite has been a little sketchy lately so I only made him one. On the way back from the freezer, though, I decided I should make one for Owen, too. He's only had hot dog once, but he loved it. I figured the corn dog would probably go over pretty well. Once it was warmed, I started to take a bite, because that's what mommies do best. He didn't need the whole thing, so far better for me to squelch the craving for corn dog with one bite rather than two or three whole ones! But, I caught myself. I decided it'd be far more fun to cut the whole thing up for Owen and see how he did. The little piggy ate the whole thing!!! Mind you, that was following about a 5 or 6 ounce bottle of whole milk. Plus, he washed it all down with a sizeable bowl of applesauce. (Followed by another 4 or 5 ounce bottle about 45 minutes later, at bedtime!) My goodness, what a boy! He's only in the 10th percentile for his weight, but I think the boy's on a mission. Probably that mission is to out-weight his big brother within the next year, that way he can pay Caleb back for all the rough and tumble wrestling moves he's been unwittingly subjected to. Watch out, Caleb!

And, speaking of Caleb... We've been dealing with some grumpiness and bad attitudes lately. I know it's just a phase, because he really does have a wonderful, sweet spirit. For now I'm blaming it on the shortage of naps due to going to school 3 days each week. Anyways. I'm not sure what happened last week. He had been super grumpy and ill-mannered all morning long, as we did our normal routine of errands and other random things. When he woke up from his nap that afternoon, though, he had miraculously reverted back to his happy self. He was helpful and cooperative. He played well with Owen and was an absolute pleasure! It was amazing! When Zach got home, I made sure to make a very big deal about what a good boy he'd been all afternoon. Then, when I was walking down the hall to take Owen to bed, I heard him tell Zach in a very proud and cheerful voice, "Daddy, I left my bad attitude at Wal-Mart!"

Funny. Somehow I always manage to pick one up at Wal-Mart. But, if that's what it takes, I'd gladly take the boy to Wal-Mart more often! He's a good boy!

Good Stuff from God

2008-10-02T10:58:00.004-05:00

God is so faithful. When your heart cries, He responds. Thank you to all the people who listen to His voice and who follow His direction - even if it's just sharing your own struggles. It's amazing how much it helps to know others are going through the same things and fighting the same fights. It's an incredible opportunity for us to learn from and with each other. Check this out...

Need vs. Want

2008-09-29T10:45:00.002-05:00

Need and want. On paper it looks so black and white. Need is on one end of the spectrum and want is on the other. Or, at least, it should be. Why is everything so blurry, so fuzzy and gray? Why am I struggling to pay for things that aren't even necessary, things I think I need, when others are struggling to survive? Why do I have to go to the grocery store twice a week, when we could easily eat off the food in our pantry and freezer for a month? Why do I feel I need a new dress, since it's on clearance for $3, when I've already got 10 others hanging in my closet? And why does $3 feel so trivial to me, when it could make such a huge difference to others?

Why is my want for things winning over my want for people? Lord, please change my heart. It wants to know your ways. It wants to do your will, but obviously not bad enough...or it would be. It would sacrifice without pause.

Why? It's my heart's cry. Why? And how? My heart is longing for something bigger, something better. Something more significant.

There's my boy...

2008-09-16T15:35:00.003-05:00

Here's the picture I wanted to load the other day, but couldn't. It was worth waiting for, right? Look at that confidence, that body language, that belly... It does a Momma good.

A Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-09-14T20:14:00.004-05:00

The boys (all three...Zach, Caleb and Owen) were finally healthy enough this weekend that we could celebrate Owen's first birthday. Only a week and a half late. Oh well. He doesn't really know the difference, I suppose. Since he's so impossible to resist, he's already had ice cream several times throughout the last year. Cake, though, is a different story. We held out so that his first cake would come on his birthday. And let me tell you, the boy's reaction definitely didn't disappoint. He shoveled fistful after fistful into his mouth. If his mouth was already full, he settled for smearing it as near his mouth as possible. He, in true "dozer" (his nickname) style, just couldn't and wouldn't slow down.

I just discovered that the naked-baby-covered-in-chocolate-cake pictures are on someone else's memory card. So, unfortunately, for now you'll have to settle with the video of his birthday song serenade and his first lurches toward the cake. I'll get those pictures up ASAP. In the mean time, here's a picture of him doing his favorite new passtime...emptying Mommy's kitchen cupboards. Ah, what a busy baby! Okay. Nevermind. That one will have to wait, too. For some reason it's just not loading. Aagh! Technology. I've had enough...I'm going to bed!

First Day

2008-08-28T14:08:00.003-05:00

Right now my big boy, Caleb, is at school. He's finishing up his first week of pre-K, and he's loving it. He's only going 3 afternoons each week but, in hindsight, I know that's a perfect schedule for him. We met his teacher, Mrs. Crook (yes, her name is really Mrs. Crook), last Thursday at a special Open House they had for his class so parents and kids could come before the first day to meet the teacher, check out the classroom, etc. On our way to the Open House, he asked in a little voice if I was going to stay with him. I told him gently and lovingly that I was allowed to stay that one day, but that afterwards he'd be there without Mommy. His reply? "But I don't want you to stay!" Ah. Only 4 and already ripping my heart out.

It was for the best, though. He hasn't shown any hesitation at going or "being left" each day. He had a hard time sleeping after his first day in class, so I think it was all a little more overwhelming than he let on, but in his own words it's been "major fun". They do chapel, P.E. and Spanish each week, in addition to their core numbers-and-letters curriculum. He hasn't given me a whole lot of details, but I can tell he's having a blast.

There are 15 kids in his class - 10 girls and 5 boys, so the odds are definitely in his favor that he'll end the year with at least one girlfriend. So far, though, he seems pretty darn content to "rock out" with Noah and Zach. They're the two guys he befriended right away. While we were waiting to go in on the first day, Caleb noticed that Noah had a very cool Star Wars backpack and Caleb asked if he could tell him so. I suggested that he go over to tell him, to make sure that he heard. So, he did and he also asked for his name. After Noah's Mom prompted his "and what's your name" response, Caleb held out his hand for a shake and said, "I'm Caleb, nice to meet 'ya!"

My goodness, I just LOVE that boy! He's still so little, but so very big all at the same time...he never ceases to amaze.

This little piggy...

2008-08-18T21:41:00.009-05:00

...is broken!

It fought the door frame, and (obviously) the door frame won!

Not thirty minutes after we got home from our vacation, I had to chase Owen into the bathroom because he was making a bee-line for the toilet. I was busy watching him rather than discerning whether or not I was going to clear the door and...smash! There went the toe! The funny thing is, it didn't hurt as bad as other times I've done that. This is definitely the most magnificent bruise I've had, though. And, you should see it in person. The pictures really don't do it justice.

Why is it that all my most spectacular injuries result from moments of complete stupidity and clumsiness rather than moments when I actually do something adventurous and daring? I guess it makes sense. After all, the ratio of times I am clumsy to when I am adventurous is probably about 400:1. Shucks! Oh well, sigh....

Durango!

2008-08-18T15:07:00.010-05:00

This past weekend, Zach and I were blessed with the opportunity to spend some time in Durango. Zach had been before for quick snowboarding trips, but I had never been. It was beautiful!

(In front of the hotel.)

Our hotel, which we lovingly (?) referred to as "ghetto fabulous", was a constant source of amusement. When we first walked up to our room, we were afraid they had accidentally booked us in a meeting room. It had double doors...with huge pains of glass! There were curtains, of course, but you had to arrange them just so in order to prevent a peep show. We were on the 3rd floor, and we paid extra for a room that had an outdoor balcony. Our (or MY) plan was that we could sit out there in the mornings with warm coffee and enjoy the scenery. Rather than overlooking the mountain and river, though, it turns out our balcony looked right over the stairwell. We couldn't see a thing. Except for the stairwell, that is. So, we really only used the balcony to dry out our wet/muddy clothes. It also had some other "fun" quirks. For instance, I was excited to see a huge jetted tub in our bathroom and I gave that a try on our second night. It was nice, but you couldn't stay in for long. The jets were so high powered that they made my teeth chatter the whole time! Also, we noticed that the snack machine next to the elevator had a very polite note from management informing guests that all odd numbers were currently not working. So, if you wanted to select D6 for Cheetos you'd hit the jackpot. But if you were hankering for the Hershey bar at E7, you were plumb out of luck. Ha!

The hotel was downtown, so we spent lots of time wondering the streets and peeking in all the fun little shops. There was no shortage of things to see and do. Bike shops, art galleries, used book stores, pubs and fun restaurants, amazing architecture and beautiful residential areas. It was great!

On the first night, we had pizza from a place that Zach had visited once before. He remembered that it was good, but didn't remember exactly how large the slices were. Our lack of information quickly turned to embarrassment when we realized we ordered enough pizza to feed a small army. Oh well. I can't think of anything better than leftover pizza.

On Saturday, we rented a mountain bike for me and hit the trail. That's right, folks. I gave it a shot. If I were optimistic, I'd say I was able to ride about 50% of the trail. That's probably a gross overstatement, though. It felt like I had to start and stop about a million times. I rode whenever I was remotely comfortable/confident on the trail. There were some spots, though, where I definitely respected my limits. It was my first time and there was no way I was ready to go bouncing over big rocks or flying down steep drops. (I'm sure Zach would tell you that we never even encountered any BIG rocks or STEEP drops, but I maintain that that's all in the eye of the beholder.) Anyways, the ride was quite an adventure. All in all, I managed to finish the ride with only one episode of almost throwing up, one episode of almost crashing and only one episode of almost hyperventilating. The (almost) crash wasn't anything super spectacular. But, I do have an amazing battle wound to show for it. Unfortunately, it's in a rather private spot, so I won't be able to show it off. All I know is that God, in His infinite wisdom, probably never intended for his creation to participate in a sport in which their tender nethers were quite so close to such a hard pole. Ouch.

(From the trail...

...beautiful!

Notice the ominous sky...)

It wasn't long after we'd stopped to consider whether we were ready to turn back when it started to sprinkle. Within a minute, the sprinkle turned to an outright downpour, hail included. Before long, the top two inches of dirt had turned into sticky, slippery sludge. Our tires looked like they were about 6 inches wide and we couldn't even ride. Zach tried a few times, but he was pretty sure his back wheel wasn't even spinning. We had to walk the bikes most of the way back. The very end of the trail was pretty rocky, so we were finally able to ride again, but it was slick! It rained/hailed the entire way back. But, we finished in style - splattered (actually, coated) with mud, soaked to the bone and happy as can be! Besides the minor hiccups, Zach and I both agree that the bike ride was our favorite part of the whole trip. It was quite an adventure!

Thank you to mom/dad and Anna/Justin for watching the boys so we could get away. It was amazing! We came back relaxed and refreshed. A little bruised, but completely happy!

What's Up, Chuck?

2008-07-28T21:53:00.004-05:00

A quick word of warning: for those readers with squeamish tendencies, you may want to quit here.

My precious little Caleb. He's such a sweetheart. While he was taking his nap today, I was in the den working. All of a sudden, he started crying like crazy. I went running, because that's not a normal thing for him. His room was dark, but I could see him sitting at the edge of his bed. I was trying to assess the situation and see what had happened. He was a bit hysterical, though, so it took awhile before I could hear him choke out the words, "Momma, I spit up!" [Oh. You're right. Now that you mention it, I do feel something warm and squishy between my toes.] Some of you are thinking, "Big deal, a little spit up." Oh, no. Thankfully for Caleb and I both, he hasn't had enough bouts of nausea to make him aware of this stuff called vomit or anything else related to throwing up. He simply refers to it as "spitting up" because that's what Owen does. Nope. This was full-fledged vomit. I think his entire lunch was in his sheets, down the side of his bed, and in a puddle on the floor. (And, yes, gushed between my toes.) It was all there. I had even given him a few gummy bears after lunch as a special treat, since he'd eaten so much - fish sticks, ketchup, corn and macaroni and cheese. Mmm...

Anyways, I'm not sure what it was that caused his brief yet comprehensive stomach revolt. All I know is that we will most likely be avoiding fish sticks in the future. These may very well have been his first AND last.

Oh. And I think I'll flip the light switch from now on while I'm running to his rescue.

He'll Always Be My Baby...

2008-07-21T17:13:00.007-05:00

...even though he's a great big 4-year-old now. I suppose at some point, though, I'll have to start keeping the "baby" comments to myself, lest they be met with rolling eyes and an "Aagh. Mom!" response.

We celebrated his birthday yesterday, and he loved every bit of it. He loved his cake. Actually, he didn't even eat more than two bites of it. He was too busy playing. It'd be far more accurate to say that he loved the guy on top of it, Bumble Bee. He's Caleb's favorite Transformer...one of new-found, big-boy loves.

As for the presents, all I can say is that it's always been fun to give that little guy presents. It's so gratifying. He's equally thankful and thrilled with each and every thing. It doesn't matter if it's a new bike, velcro shoes that he's decided to refer to as "C straps", cowboy jeans, or a card that makes race car noises every time you open it, each and every gift is met with an enthusiastic: "Awesome!", "Cool!" or "That's just what I always wanted!" And, he always means it.

I definitely wasn't a disaster this year, like I was when we celebrated his first birthday. Since then I've learned a few things. Although it's tempting to turn into a sobbing mess and get overwhelmed with how big he's getting, it's far more fun to look forward to the future with anticipation. Each and every year, actually, each and every day brings so many new and exciting things. Even though some days may bring challenges and new "phases" that I'm all too eager to see pass, they bring an overwhelming amount of good. I know that Zach would agree wholeheartedly when I say that we are blessed beyond measure. He is such an amazing boy, and we're so very proud.

Okay. I do have to stop now, or I will start to cry. I can only keep this tough mommy act up for so long, you know.

WE LOVE YOU, CALEB THOMAS TAYLOR!!! HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, BIG GUY!!!

Goodbye Q

2008-07-21T16:38:00.012-05:00

This guy's name is Quentin Tavener, but in high school, everyone called him "Q". He was one of the nicest guys I've ever known. We had classes together throughout high school, but during our senior year, we had several really intense classes together. One was a two-hour-a-day honors civics class. Every year the class competed in (and won) a state-wide competition and went on to compete in Washington DC at the national level. He wasn't necessarily the loudest voice in the class, but people definitely listened every time he had something to say. And when we were in DC to compete, we learned that Q was always either a) eating, b) sleeping on any horizontal surface he could find or c) smiling and having fun. Every weekday we went straight from that class to the next one we shared - an honors show choir class...the same one one that Zach and I were in together. The guy sang and danced with enthusiasm, even though it didn't exactly come naturally to him. He wasn't necessarily a born performer, but I'm sure that his smile always lit up the stage. And, speaking of his smile, whenever you'd pass him in the hall between classes, Q never failed to flash a special smile in your direction. It always included the slightest, yet very purposeful wink. He definitely knew how to make people feel not just noticed, but special.

He was in National Honor Society with me, he wrestled and played football with Zach. The guy did it all and he did it with grace, skill and an infectiously joyful spirit.

Yesterday afternoon we found out that he passed away last week. He'd developed a brain tumor. They operated, but it spread to his lungs. I just can't believe it. I was just thinking about him at Moriarty's 4th of July parade. His family owns a towing company there and they always have one of their big flat-bed trucks, covered with about 4 dozen little league players, in the parade. I saw one of his older brothers driving the truck and wondered, "Why doesn't Q ever drive the truck? I wonder what he's up to?" Little did I know that he was on oxygen and facing the last few weeks of his young life. The last time we saw each other very regularly was at UNM. We were both taking classes at the business school. We didn't have any together, but we'd run into each other between classes and he'd always stop to say hi. We'd sit on a bench for a few minutes to catch up...he'd tell me how excited he was about the new apartment he'd found that was so close to campus, or his recent endeavor to learn to play tennis. But, after a while either his schedule changed or mine did, and we didn't bump into each other any more. That was it.

It blows my mind to think of how easily and quickly people can move in and out of your life. I'm mad at this stupid, stinking world we live in. It's messed up. It sucks. (And I don't even use that word, but I can't think of any that is more fitting.) It makes me sad that good people die. That bad things happen to them. It makes me so very thankful for the healing and comfort that only God can bring. It makes me long all the more for things to be made right. I pray that day comes soon.

In the mean time, I'm sure that there are lots and lots of people whose lives were made richer and more joyful just for knowing Q.

And for my grand finale...

2008-07-11T16:31:00.003-05:00

...a little end of the week fun. Zach spotted this little gem while driving down Lomas a few weeks ago:

Hard Core, Soft Shell

2008-07-11T14:58:00.007-05:00

Guess what I did last night? I actually went to a gym, got a membership and worked out! That's right. I hit the gym! Actually, strike that. If truth be told, it would be far more accurate to say that the gym hit me. (And it hits hard.)

Given that it's been about 3 years since I've been able to properly "work out", I was super excited. The prospect of lifting weights instead of stinky diaper pails was absolutely exhilarating! I planned to start off gently. After all, I didn't want to get so sore that I'd never want to step foot in the place again. I figured on doing 2 sets of 10-12 reps on each weight machine. I wasn't overly optimistic when selecting my weight settings. I tended to stick to the wimpy side. After all, I probably fall into that category quite naturally now anyways.

Long ago, during my weight lifting days, I was trained in the Zach and Jared school of "lift until you fail". Given my strategy of easing in gently, I expected that reaching my failure limit would be on the distant horizon. After all, I'd specifically chosen extra-light weights. Unfortunately, by the end of my second set I was hitting failure on almost every machine. Darn it! I had somehow hoped that continuously hefting around my little butterball (Owen) had miraculously kept me in better shape than I expected. But, obviously, it didn't.

Oh well...onwards and upwards! I had successfully finished my circuit through all the weight machines and, given my tendency to spook (bolt the opposite direction at the first glimpse of anything unsettling), that was something to be proud of. It was time for some cardio. I didn't want to do the treadmill. My legs were a little too wobbly for that. I didn't want to do the stair-steppers, ellipticals or bikes, either - been there, done that. But then, I spotted some sort of new machine! It looked sort of like an elliptical, but not quite. And better yet, no one else was anywhere near the vicinity, so I could stumble through my maiden voyage in anonymity. I hopped on and got going. Admittedly, I am not the most graceful person around, but this machine made me feel even more awkward than normal. The only thing I can think to compare the motion to was if someone were to try to climb a hill while wearing snowshoes...going backwards. Exactly. Why would anyone in their right minds ever do such a thing? But, nevertheless, I chose the 20 minute program. After all, I thought, "I can do anything for 20 minutes". Apparently not. I made it for 5 minutes, and then called it quits. Once my heart rate was rivaling the pace of a thoroughbred at the Kentucky Derby, I figured I'd better admit defeat before having a complete coronary blow-out. I'm not even sure what the machine is called, so I've decided to refer to it as "The Machine That Kicked My Butt". I mentioned the name to my sister this morning and, without any further description, she knew exactly which one I was talking about. So, I'm guessing the name is going to stick.

Despite the fact that my finish fell far short of spectacular, it was still fun! I was out of the house without my two precious helpers and I was getting exercise - it was great! The only thing that was missing was some music. I decided that next time I'll definitely have to bring my iPod. I thought about asking Zach to make me a special workout playlist. Something inspiring. Something fiery and motivated. Then I realized, why do I need that, when I have Enya? After all, that's what Jasmine and I always listened to while we pumped iron. Now that I think about it, though, I'm not sure that Jasmine and I really quite reached our potential or fulfilled our goals. But, we sure had fun. Since I'm on my own this time around, maybe I'd better rethink that spit and vinegar playlist. My time is limited. I'd better get tough...and fast. Otherwise, this hard core mama will never break through her soft shell. (Ha!) I can't help but laugh at that and, for those of you who know me well, I'm sure you'll have to snicker as well. I can pretend, can't I?

A Happy, Happy Birthday for Me!

2008-07-07T11:15:00.009-05:00

Last Thursday, the 3rd of July, was my 29th birthday and, boy, was it fun! Ever since I was little, I've never been able to imagine a better day of the year to have a birthday. It falls right at a time when people are ready to kick back and P-A-R-T-Y! Plus, I'm sure there was a time when I was convinced all the hoop-la (the parades, the fireworks, the massive amounts of yummy summer foods) were all in celebration of me. I'm over that now, or at least that's what I let everyone believe. (So, there you go Mom and Dad. If you ever wondered why I showed up six weeks early, it's because July 3rd is so much more fun for a birthday than boring, ol' mid-August.)

Unfortunately, my friend Jane was out of town for the weekend. So, in her honor, here's a complete, very thorough recap:

THE FOOD. (This segment will be particularly detailed, as I'm aiming to insight drool, especially from Jane.):
Thanks to my sister's willingness to (as I lovingly refer to it) "sit-on" my boys, Zach and I were able to go out for an amazing lunch date. We went to Scalo in Nob Hill. It was great! We shared a salad of baby lettuce, goat cheese croutons, pine nuts and balsamic vinaigrette. Mmm. The croutons sounded intriguing, but they were so much more-so once we got into them...warm, gooey in the middle, crispy on the outside edges and surrounded by pine nuts. Whoa, baby! I had a yummy pizza for lunch - olive oil, mozzarella, gorgonzola, pears and carmelized onions. There were several moments when I couldn't help but close my eyes and savor. Zach had a sashimi-grade tuna dish that he thoroughly enjoyed. For dessert, he had tiramisu and it was strong - just the way he likes it. I couldn't pass up the bread pudding. It had dried cherries, almonds, caramel sauce and it was served with vanilla gelato. I lingered over every last bite. It was, as some say, to-die-for. Or was that just the feeling of death coming on because I ate so much? (I neglected to mention that the bread pudding was almost as large as my head. And yes, Zach, that's pretty darn big.) Our lunch really couldn't have been much better, in my opinion.

Being as how we were both in need of wheel barrows to exit the restaurant, we spent our afternoon perusing the Nob Hill shops. Not all of them, mind you. We stuck to the more tasteful, less tacky ones. It was fun, and a great way to re-route the blood circulation from our stomachs back into the rest of our bodies.

THE GIFTS:

There. I had to lead with that one, just for shock value alone. God bless my precious hubby and his crazy sense of humor; he took the cake with this one. It's a t-shirt that he found and couldn't resist getting for me. It made me laugh so hard that I instantly wanted to show it to anyone and everyone. At the same time, I was overcome with a flushed color of pink because it's a bit risque. Or, maybe A LOT risque. Regardless, I find it hilarious. So, my apologies, but please do remember that "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine."

That was by far the funniest gift, but definitely not the only gift. I was so blessed! Gift certificates for stores that I love (mommy gets to go shopping!), beautiful ruby jewelry handed down, books, flowers, music...that was just the beginning. The wonderful Torres clan gave me a hand-blown glass ball that is absolutely beautiful! I hung it in my kitchen window and can't stop staring at it! My parents gave me money to re-do the floor and walls in my laundry room. I have this theory that if the laundry room were a little more lively and cheerful, that maybe the laundry chore would be more enjoyable. Right? I'm not sure if it will work or not, but I'm excited to test my theory.

THE PARTY:
A surprise! I can't even remember when the last time was that I actually had a birthday party, but I'm pretty sure I was 10 or younger. What fun! My dear friend, Faerl, organized a get together that was a wonderful end to a great day. A beautiful summer evening, 20+ of my nearest and dearest, Mexican food, fizzy lime punch that had sweetened condensed milk in it (Mmmm...), a periwinkle-frosted cake that was adorned with sparklers, a moth so large that it was mistaken for a humming bird, the fun of watching several "grown" men (?) and their antics in trying to get said moth out of the house with a pool net,... It was definitely an evening to remember.

I was so blessed on my birthday, just as I am every day. God is so good, and life is so good. I'm blessed with a godly husband who always makes me laugh, beautiful boys that truly are my pride and joy, friends and family that encourage, support and strengthen me, a beautiful home, a rewarding (developing) career as a doula, etc, etc. The list really is overwhelming. Like I said, life is good. And, the best part is, the older I get the better it gets. I'm so happy to be exactly where I'm at. In closing, there was a nice little blurb on a card attached to the glass ball I received and it summed up my sentiments exactly:

This ball sparkles in the light the way a good friend (& family) brings sparkle to your life. The colors swirl and mingle across the surface of the ball enhancing each other just as the talents and varied personalities of your friends (& family) bring color to your life.

Thank you to everyone that helped make my birthday such an enjoyable treat. And thank you to everyone that fills my life so richly with...the finer things.

I love you all!!!

"Thank You" isn't enough...

2008-07-02T08:05:00.000-05:00

...to express my appreciation for you, Zachary Wayne Taylor. Over and over I tell you that you are precious to me. According to the dictionary, that means that you are dear, beloved and of high value. What does it mean to me? It's means there's no one else for me. No one else that I'd rather be with, partner with, give myself to.

You are so encouraging. You never fail to lift me up and spur me on. Everything that I have accomplished is in large part due to you and your never-ending support. You are an incredible source of strength that I rely on more than you know.

We just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. So much has changed in that time. It has been amazing to watch you grow. You have overcome so many fears and have risen mightily to meet so many challenges. You truly are more than a conquerer. My time with you has been so incredible, and it keeps getting better and better. It really does take my breath away to think of what the future holds.

All I know is that I look forward to it, with all my heart. I look forward to growing old with you. I can't wait to pick (more) white hairs from your curly head. (I was going to call you "Old Man", but I guess I shouldn't. If you're old, then what does that make me?) I love to imagine what you'll look like as you get older. You're so handsome now, so I can only imagine you as a more distinguished kind of handsome. I try to imagine what it will feel like to hold your hand when our hands are not quite so strong and are much more wrinkly. I'm not sure what it will feel like, but I do know that I'll be happy no matter where I am...as long as my hand is in yours.

I am absolutely honest when I say that I'm living my dream life, and it's because of you. The sacrifices you make in providing for our family are a blessing. You have put us before your own wants and desires. I can't even begin to tell you how humbling that is. You are an amazing man, a wonderful husband and an incredible daddy. Thank you for everything you do, Zach. But most of all, thank you for being you and thank you for being mine.

I love you.

A Great Day

2008-06-25T11:46:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was a great day! In the morning, the boys and I had to go by the pediatrician's office to have Owen weighed. He had lost weight over the last few months, can you believe it? So, for the last 3 weeks we've been packing down the food to make sure that we could get the downward trend to reverse. And, of course, it did. 3 weeks ago he weighed 16 lbs 10 ozs. Yesterday, he weighed 18 lbs 2 ozs. A pound and a half in 3 weeks! For a baby his age, that kind of weight gain is a bit astonishing. My good boy! I knew he could do it! In the last week, he has also managed to refine his method for getting around. Previously, he was resorting to a very walrus-like flopping method. Yesterday, though, he actually started to crawl. Before I know it, there'll be teeth and talking and walking and... Okay. I have to stop or I'll cry. My baby is growing up.

Next stop was my parent's house. They watched the boys while I ran to Edgewood to redeem a gift certificate I'd received for a massage. Aagh! A real massage. My first one, and it was amazing! Unfortunately, the jostling and hair tugging components of "mommy massage" may no longer cut it. My horizons have officially been expanded.

After all of that, it was time to head home, because it wasn't long before Zach would be headed home from work. I had tried a new crock pot recipe (Cheesy White Chili with Cauliflower) and I wanted to make sure it was ready by the time he made it home. I forgot, though, that Zach rode his bike to work yesterday, so I was expecting him home a lot earlier.

Yes, that's right. Zach rode his bike to work - roughly from Menaul & Tramway to Gibson & Yale. From the foothills to the airport. My husband is an animal. It's roughly a 15 mile trip, each way. In the mornings it's not so bad, because it's down hill all the way and the temperature is quite nice. On the way home, though, it's up hill and the temperature is definitely close to, if not, in the 90's most days. Plus, he has this insane compulsion to catch up to everyone he sees. (Except for people on road bikes. Thankfully, he has the sense to let them fly by without feeling the need to keep up.) Anyways, he made it home in about an hour and a half. Incredible time, but he was darn near passing out when he walked through the door. He grabbed a drink and a snack and flopped onto the couch in a sweaty puddle. (Ick!) He got to see Owen crawl before baby had to proceed to bed and then it was time to hit the shower. Afterwards, we got to have a lovely meal (the chili was a success) in the backyard while we watched Caleb play. Then Zach did bedtime with Caleb. He's much, MUCH better at bedtime than I am. When I read Caleb's stories, I read them. That's it. When Zach reads them, though, he can come up with an entertaining and unique voice for each character, no matter how many there are. It's a wonder Caleb ever lets me read his stories.

After all of that, we got to cuddle on the couch and watch a couple episodes of Lost, one of our favorite TV programs. Then we went to bed...early!

It wasn't glamorous or exciting but, in my book, it made for a wonderful, super-enjoyable day. (Thank you, Jesus, for good days!)

A "Deuce" Like No Other

2008-06-22T21:49:00.005-05:00

While I was cooking dinner this evening, Caleb was busy playing in the backyard. He came to the back door and was hollering for me, so I went to check out the situation. "Mom! There's POOP in the backyard!" No big deal, I thought. It was probably a stray cat or something. He was pretty upset, though, and went on to frantically tell me that some of the poop was on him.

"Great." I'm thinking. "What in the world is he doing in our backyard with poop?" He's three, though, so there's no telling. As with most problems when you're three, the solution is a bath, so I proceeded to strip him down in the backyard before herding him straight to the tub. By the time I got to his undies, I discovered that he had been the originator of the poo. He doesn't really have accidents, so I was pretty surprised. "Did you not feel it coming, Buddy?" "No, I did. The rest of the poop is over there...," he said, while pointing towards the wall at the back of the yard.

I should have known, and it's probably my own fault. No, I do not go to the bathroom in our backyard - or anyone else's, for that matter. But I did make the mistake of letting him pee on a tree at the park one day because he really had to go. At that time, I didn't realize it was a mistake, but since then he's developed quite a fondness for relieving himself in the middle of the great outdoors. (As, I understand, most men do.) It never occurred to me, though, that I needed to create a distinction between the acceptability of the occasional going potty on a tree when absolutely necessary and going outside just because it's fun. Especially #2! Further proof that there's somehow a total disconnect in a three-year-old's ability to reason.

So, my question is this: how the heck do you reprimand your son for defecating in the yard while mentally picturing the little guy squatting by the back wall? I can tell you, it's darn hard to do with a straight face.

I related the story to Zach, who thought it was quite amusing. (Although he probably wouldn't have found it quite so funny if he was the one who had to scrub poo out of Caleb's clothes.) When Zach got home, he went to check on Caleb in the tub. He again asked him if he hadn't felt the "poops" coming, but he got a totally different story than I did.

"No." Caleb replied, quite seriously. "They were sneaky ones!"

My Pot Garden

2008-06-19T10:12:00.003-05:00

Okay, okay. Not that kind of pot. Don't want you to think I'm misbehavin'!

There's this ugly little flower bed in our back yard that Zach and I have been ready to get rid of since we moved in last summer. The only problem is that we didn't have any ideas as to what to put in its place. This week I finally made it to the store to get my summer flowers. When I set about planting them last night, I planned to put them in the various pots I had scattered around the back yard. But then, I had a better idea. Surely a flower bed full of pots with plants would look better than lots of pots with flowers all spread out, and a flower bed that's ugly and empty. Thus, the birth of my pot garden! I think I like it.

Any resemblance?

2008-06-17T16:09:00.005-05:00

A few months ago, Dawn, our pastor's wife, said that Owen looks like Chris Farley. I totally disagreed. It wasn't long afterwards, though, that I saw the following photo of him on my parents' fridge. What do you think?

Oops, I did it again.

2008-06-15T21:41:00.003-05:00

So, I tried another recipe with jalapeno. A really yummy salad that a friend from church brought to a get-together a few weeks ago. Brown rice, grape tomatoes, black beans, corn, shredded cheddar, avocado, diced jalapeno... It was great! Mine, however, didn't come out quite like hers. I'm not sure what the problem was. And, yes. I did it again. Somehow, despite my careful attention to washing and NOT rubbing anything, it wasn't long before the side of my face was on fire. It was right next to my left eye. Thank God I didn't actually get it in my eye! Yikes. I'm wondering if I'd better quit while I'm ahead. (If you can call this ahead.)

And another thing... Caleb, as usual, was quite amusing today. While we were getting ready for church this morning, he heard something on TV about it being Father's Day. He asked, "Mom, who's a father?" I told him, "Daddy is a father. And so is Papa." (My dad.) But apparently this didn't sit right with him. "No! He's not. He's an old man."

Also, at the lunch table today, he announced to the entire family that the reason mommy feeds Owen instead of him is because his "milkers" aren't big enough. Ha!

What is love?

2008-06-14T12:22:00.007-05:00

Okay. It's confession time. Lately I have been far, far too impatient with Caleb. Sometimes I'm just at a complete loss as to how my precious, first-born baby turned into a wild little tornado who is capable of being rude and disobedient. If you'd have asked me 3 years ago whether or not he'd ever do such things, I'd swear that it was certainly not within his capacity. However, if you ever need proof that mankind isn't inherently good, you need look no further than a young child.

What bothers me most is the tone of voice I've found myself using with him. I know it isn't good or excusable, no matter what the provocation. Last night, though, I really thought about how I'd feel if someone talked to me over and over again with that frustrated, disappointed tone. I decided that I'd most likely cry. And that's what Caleb does, only the response he gets from me is typically even greater frustration.

I prayed about it last night (while I lay awake in between Owen's unexplainable 3:30 and 5:00 wakings). The answer God gave me was pretty clear. LOVE IS PATIENT. Oh, right. In the well-known 1st Corinthians list, patience comes first - before all else. If this was a list of ingredients on the nutrient label on a package of food, that would mean that it's the most prevalent ingredient. Patience is the biggest component of love. I think that's true. Without patience, how can I be kind, hopeful, trusting or any of the other things that make up love?

In the dictionary, the definition of patience is:

1.	the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2.	an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3.	quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care.

Yikes. I knew that I was missing the mark, but if I wasn't fully convicted before, I certainly am now. A willingness to suppress restlessness when confronted with delay. How many times a day do I find myself annoyed with how slow he is at doing everything? And how often am I irritated that he doesn't do things the first time I ask? Although I do wholeheartedly maintain that he must be respectful and obedient, how many things does he do simply because he's still only 3 years old? He seems like such a big boy, and he is. I am trying to remind myself, however, that he's still small and ever learning. I'm sure that the world is a much more complicated place when you can't tie your shoes by yourself or open doors or understand directions (no matter how clear I feel I've been). After all, I think I've had sufficient proof that there's absolutely no telling what's going on in that little head of his.

I know he knows that I love him. But I never, ever want him to feel like he's a disappointment to me. He's not. He's precious and I'm trying to learn from him. Trying to learn that slowing down is a good thing. That doing one thing at a time, and doing it slowly, is better than rushing through six things at once. It makes for a much happier, healthier soul. We're both new at this and I'm trying to remember that we both have things to teach and to learn. In the mean time, I need to remind myself of the many, many reasons I have to love him, to cherish him and to swell with pride for him. They are far greater than any shortcomings. He is precious.

He's also hilarious. I have to end this post on a happy note. He told his first joke yesterday. It goes something like this:

Q: Why did the penguin use soap on his hair when he was in the bath?

A: Because he ran out of shampoo.

I know, it was definitely one of those "you had to be there" moments. Just picture Caleb telling it and, in the process, being so absolutely tickled and pleased with himself that he was about to fall on the floor laughing. It was wonderful.

Why, oh why, am I in a slump?

2008-06-13T14:02:00.005-05:00

I still very much enjoy reading blogs - keeping up with friends and, admittedly, total strangers. However, it seems I can hardly bring myself to write my own these days. What's the deal? I just don't know. I'm wondering if I am feeling a little tired of only talking about Caleb and Owen. But, what else is there to talk about in my world? It seems that for the next several years, at least, my world is set to revolve around theirs. How much did Owen eat today? Are his teeth ever going to come through? Did Caleb take a nap? Did he really brush his teeth or was he just pretending? And what, dear God, did he just say???

I'm thinking that the best way to get over my posting slump is to forge ahead and post whatever I can - whether it's about the boys or, wonder-of-wonders, if I can come up with something else. I think I'll try for at least one a week. Hopefully that will push me through to the other side.

Even though I haven't been posting regularly, it is by no means an indication that Caleb has not been in fine form. He has, indeed, been up to his usual antics. He announced last weekend that Natalie Portman is his girlfriend.

(I should qualify that. She is ONE of his girlfriends, for apparently he has many.) I was pleased to find that my little guy is quite chivalrous, though. When he told Zach that she was his girlfriend, he also told him (with all sincerity) that he lets her sleep on the bottom bunk, because she's too scared to climb up to the top one.

In his new-found, yet quite innocent interest in girls, he was a little curious about their anatomy. The other day he hugged me and then, pointing at my chest, asked, "What is that?" My policy is to give him as little information and as little terminology to add to his vocabulary as possible. My fear is that I may never know when his new words would come back to bite me or, more accurately, to embarrass the heck out of me. So, I said, "This is mommy's chest." But, I wasn't getting off easy that particular day. "No, no, no." Leaving little room for confusion, he asked again, "What are those?" So, I caved. "They're called breasts, Caleb." It seems that answer satisfied his curiosity, but he wasn't quite finished with the conversation. "Yeah," he replied, in a very casual, all-knowing manner. "I think they're disgusting. Know why?" "No, why?" "Because, they're made out of worms." Aagh! If only he would continue to believe that for about 15 to 20 more years!

As for Owen, he's on the verge of crawling at any moment. He actually may bypass crawling and proceed straight to running. He spends most of his play time up on hands and knees. However, he keeps pushing his little rear up in the air. He looks like a runner at the starting blocks. He just rocks back and forth, smiling and fussing with frustration all at the same time. Any day now, one of his little hands will slip forward a bit, his knees will move forward to catch up and he'll be off. Thus will begin the chase.

And how am I? About the same as ever. I checked out about 10 vegetarian cookbooks from the library this week and I've really enjoyed pouring through them - looking for new ideas and solutions to the age-old question. "What's for dinner?" It's just a harder question to answer, now that we're not eating meat. It's been fun, though, and we're thoroughly enjoying it. This afternoon I've been making a new recipe that we'll try for dinner. It's for sweet potato & black bean salsa. The recipe looked intriguing, so I figured I'd try it. It calls for jalapenos - this is, admittedly, my first time cooking with jalapenos. I have to say that, on the whole, I'm not a big fan. But, my only experience with them thus far is on nachos and I think that's downright yucky. We'll see, though. It called for one, finely-chopped jalapeno and that it should be seeded (if that's your preference). Since we like it hot around here, I seeded half and left the other as-is. It seems to have worked out just fine. The only problem? I washed my hands afterwards, but apparently not well enough. I must have gone after a stray little tickle on my nose, because all I know is that now it's on fire. Absolutely on fire. Oops. I guess it's bound to happen to everyone once.

That's all the time I have for now. It's time to get Caleb down for a nap and, most likely, get Owen up from his. I swear they time it this way on purpose!

For Jane, From Caleb

2008-05-21T08:22:00.001-05:00

You've been patiently awaiting more Caleb stories, so here you go...

Yesterday we were in a co-worker's office to discuss a project. We were in the middle of conversation when Caleb interrupted. He was standing by my side, with his pointer finger held high in the air and said, "Mommy! There's something on my finger." While grabbing a tissue to collect the offending "something", I said, "I wonder where that could have come from?" With a rather bewildered look on his face, Caleb replied, "I think it came from my nose!" Ha! Good thing the co-worker was a mom...she took it right in stride.

And this morning, I think we may have found a solution to his yearning for a pup. The boys and I were resting in my bed because they both have a habit of waking up FAR too early. In my state of being half-asleep, I made the mistake of pretending to be a sleeping dog in order to amuse the fussy Owen and restless Caleb. He thought it was hilarious. He kept patting my head and saying, "That's my good boy, Sparky!" I played along for quite a while, but I'm not sure how long I'll keep this up. Every time I said something, he'd demand, "No! Only barking." He's smart. I'm sure he realized that I can't reprimand him if I can only bark. Where did I draw the line? When he went running to his room to find a leash.

Last weekend, while riding in the car, Caleb asked, "Mommy? Was I ever in your comfy tummy?" I replied that, "Yes", a long time ago he had been in my tummy, when he was very small. He thought about that for a minute and said, "Oh. 'Cause I think I forgot a pillow in there."

That's all for now, but I'm sure there'll be more to come. He never disappoints!